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May
20
2010
Worst Fan Group Of All Time?
Posted by at 1:02 am ET 136 Comments

I was at the game so I don’t know if they put these fools on the television. But listen, the next time you get an idea while drinking Goldschlager, you might want to sober up and give it a second thought before carrying out an already half-baked idea in the most half-assed manner possible. I get the whole “smurf-Werth” slant-rhyme thing, but just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. And c’mon guys, wear the right Smurfin’ hats, for Smurf’s sake. Being a smurf is more than skin color – it’s a way of smurfing life. One of these smurfing smurf-heads was wearing a smurfing jester hat. It’s just lazy. These guys rank near the bottom with “Dobbs’ Slobs” from 2008. I might change my opinion if they convince Luzinski to dress up like Gargamel next time.

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  • TonyIsDynamic

    I’m amazed.

    And appalled.

  • http://twitter.com/flyerguy18 That Dumb Commenter

    They’re not smurfs. Too tall.

  • Tobias Funke

    I’m afraid that I just blue myself.

  • Krukker on the Padres

    Yes, they had a bad idea, but your roast of them was only marginally better.

    Thank god for the comments section……

  • Gload off Annie

    Tug Haines’ bug veins.

    Article craptacular

  • Greg

    Tobias, there’s got to be a better way to say that…

  • Eric
  • http://twitter.com/kevinshockey Shocksterman

    wouldn’t they have wanted to go with Werf’s Smurfs if they were going to do it?

    Just a thought

  • dlhunter

    Tobias Fünke: I’m going to take a stab at something and say that you hate White Power Bill.
    White Power Bill: I hate you!
    Tobias Fünke: You HATE White Power Bill.
    White Power Bill: I hate the government!
    Tobias Fünke: You HATE White Power Bill.
    White Power Bill: I hate my father!
    [thinks about it for a second]
    White Power Bill: I hate White Power Bill.
    [he jumps off the railing and dies]
    Prisoner: You killed him! Like Dorothy. The Wicked Witch is dead! All hail Dorothy!

  • TheFlyinNewJerseyan

    Does the second guy from the left have blue dreds or am I smurfin seein things?

  • crazy4swayze

    i had though werth’s girth might’ve shown up last night with tallboys stuffed in their crotches.

  • Jared

    Where’s Lieb’s Heebs when you need them?

  • Watrick

    If Luzinski dresses up as Gargamel, can he bring one of the cats from the Vet to play his sidekick cat?

  • http://www.chickphila.com ChicPhilA

    Ha. Saw these guys when we went to watch the last inning from the alley. There was one with a big white papa snuff beard…maybe they thought that tied them into Jayson more. It made me chuckle.

    BTW, happy birthday to the bearded one today. Hopefully he told the team he wants some offense for his birthday present/wish.

  • http://www.chickphila.com ChicPhilA

    Damn autocomplete. Smurf beard is what I meant up there.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    You just know those guys have had blue balls a lot longer than they’ve been painting their faces.

  • Darren Daulton’s Hair

    That’s f*cking embarassing. My face got red from looking at that.

  • Lynniemac

    The one that’s texting looks more like a reject extra from Braveheart than a Smurf.

  • James Fayleez

    So they passed on WERTH’S AFTERBIRTH?

  • Joe D

    Holy shit so there was something worse than the play on the field in the park last night.

  • will.H

    clearly they used the same sheet when they executed the real smurfs.

  • smurfette

    quit hatin’

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    @ smurfette… This ain’t hatin’, this is how we show our love.

  • lamboy

    my friends and i have had this idea for a long time but just haven’t had the balls to carry it out…it is copywritten tho so don’t even think about it…..

    Durbin’s Turbins!

  • http://nerdcast.org dUb-iLL

    We gotta get a group together and dress as vaginas and go to a game as “Choochies Coochies”.

  • will.H

    worst i ever saw was “Mike Lieberthal Fan Group” at the vet. too creative..

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    I haven’t been this confused since Helms’ Herpes…

  • http://twitter.com/Gaze_NJ Gaze_NJ

    My Kyle Kendrick Klan fan group idea still hasn’t taken off…

  • http://www.emptybookshelf.com nate

    Back at the Vet, things were easier. We could make signs with two bedsheets and hang out in an entirely empty upper deck section dressed as superheroes and have Jim Thome hit a home run to our section. Ahh the good old days. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE8l7dE2IYE (I’m the dancing Wolverine btw)

  • Big Ben’s Super Bowl Cock Rings

    It shoulda been Werth’s Weedmen and then sent that fat ass shitty rapper that ran onto the field a few weeks ago to do it again in right field and get judo chopped in the neck by Jayson…

  • Joe D

    @nate….the girl looks like Jennifer Carpenter, Michael C. Hall’s wife. I hope you tore that up in the lot after the game.

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Nate are those your real side burns? If so fuckin sweet, man.

  • JS

    For the record we knew what we were doing was fucking stupid, aka why we did it. lol you all need to grow the fuck up and not care as much. and ALSO, whoever wrote Durbin’s Turbins as being copyrighted, you’re a jackass, it’s gonna happen soon. my friends have been talking about it for a long ass time, since 08 PLUS now everyone on here knows about “your” glorious idea. Dumbass. Just wait and see what other disappointments we fulfill you with.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    @nate….Umm,yeah,ok. nice dance moves? Actually at Fightin’s night out (where and when that may be) you have to wear that outfit oh and make sure you bring your friend, the one in the halter top.

  • JS

    Hug sTaines is an idiot

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Hug sTaines…I see what you did there.

  • Joe D

    JS, you are terrible.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    @JS- For the record as lame as the concept was you could have pulled it off with some fucking effort. But NOOOOOOOOO! you shitfucked it and THAT is why your little blue balls are being broken on this the greatest Phillies blog ever. I’m sure if you guys put that same effort into Durbins Turbins you’ll all be wearing shit stained toilet paper wrapped around your pointy heads. MAKE A FUCKING EFFORT DON”T HANLEY IT!

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    This is like a dream come true. The people in the picture are actually here on the board.

    So JS, which I presume is to protect your identity, who’s idea was this? Was it yours or your friends? Regardless, now that you are being recognized as a top fail of 2010 on this board, let it be know that I actually like what you and your “friends” did there. I think, that not only did you know that you were going to get made fun you, you straped on your cajones and went with it. Nice move, good work.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    Oh and can someone please get DaMustang1Holla on here? I think we’ll need him before this is all said and done.

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Guys….maybe JS is right though. Who are we to judge? Back in ’97 when we were Kevin Stockers Cock Blockers we were beaten unmercifully before we could even get to our seats – probably by creeps like Dubee Dubee Du! I say henceforth only Meech the Father, as God and creator of this religious institution should cast judgement upon mortals.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Dashdog how the fuck did you represent a cock blocker? Did you all come dressed as Her Big Fat Friend? Or was it a come as you are party? Just asking.

  • http://Genericshow.com GenericFanGroup

    The only thing I miss from the Vet is walking up the day of buying a ticket…setting up the Generic Fan Group sign in the right field upper deck. Taunting the right fielder know that he can hear us trashing him for his shitty .240 average (I am looking at you Shawn Green) and booing Jose Mesa and his kid when they would show him on phanavision.

  • CarlosBeltransexual

    Hooray! I think JS is a new “character” like DaMustang1Holla was! Should liven things up around here.

  • James Anthony Happ

    How about?

    Werth giving birth!!

  • will.H

    JS, you painted your heads and drew on a big bed sheet to seek an enormous amount of attention.

    Then, you get what you want and you poop your pants. Relax man, don’t your brah’s ever give you shit? That’s what happens.

  • DaMustang1Holla

    wut u mean was dog

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    A swing and a miss, Dubes.

  • http://Genericshow.com GenericFanGroup

    How about Werth’s Girth and its a group of people wearing giant dildos

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Seriously Dash how did you do it? Were you all dressed as Booger and his nerd friends? You’re leaving me hanging here.

  • http://whodoesheplayfor.wordpress.com/ photographerN

    Not to change the subject, but…
    http://tinyurl.com/338shc9
    FREE DOWNLOAD of a new song by The Baseball Project! Who’s Gonna Win 30 Games? Doc Halladay!

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Dubes, I got nothin. I totally made that up anyway, but I hope the point was taken. Moving on, I find it exciting that there is actually a wikipedia page for cockblock: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockblock

    DYK that individuals frequenting bars in university towns are likely to be familiar with this classic maneuver?

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    @Jdash I really think a promotion is in order for you on this website. You should be TheFightins.com historian or looker upper dude. I hope someone seconds this notion.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Ok Dash good. You had me wracking my brain trying to think of which little weinies me and my creep buddies had beaten up. There’s just been so many, and really the last few decades were a bit of a blur. I just wanted to know who it was I needed to make the apology to to complete my twelve steps. Didn’t want to be beboppin and skit-skattin around anyone ya know. DYK the Stephen Lynch reference in my earlier post- Her Big Fat Friend? Very funny song.

  • crazy4swayze

    if i were going to the game today i’d bring a sign that said “heavy b’s got solar energy!”

    but i’m not so i’m just telling yous guys about it.

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Thanks, Eaton – but I’m just a guy who probably bullshits at work too much.

    Dubes, with every inch of me, I pure, straight hate you! But, cot dammit, do I respect you. I’ve never been a big fan of Stephen Lynch, but maybe I’ll give him another shot since you are the authority about what’s cool around here. My girlfriend likes him though, but she has a shitty sense of humor. <<<< see what I did there? I made you guys think I might have a girlfriend and have some semblance of life outside of the internet. Who am I kidding?…nobody thought that :(

  • Joe D

    Stephen Lynch came to my college freshman year…pretty decent. He was the only decent act to come through in my 4 years there because the planning committee probably shit themselves when they heard some of the stuff he was singing. Their buttholes were super tight and anything fun was never allowed back.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    @JDash If that’s the case, then we got a lot in common.

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Yeah I wonder how people used to get through the work day before Al Gore invented the internets.

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Of course there wasn’t much happening on the field so these sad blue folks were shown on tv, Meech.

    But nobody asked JS if Jesus of the RF saw them or said anything to them. So I’ll do it – JS – Did he see y’all, and if so what did he say? Did you not know 5/20 is his b’day or did you just not have tickets for today?

  • Joe D

    Werth doesn’t acknowledge shitty fan groups. What he does acknowledge however is when he turns around after an out and I let him know how many outs there are from my seat in right.

  • James Fayleez

    “Dubes, with every inch of me, I pure, straight hate you! But, cot dammit, do I respect you.”

    This might be the worst line I’ve ever read on a message board.

  • http://nerdcast.org dUb-iLL

    Copywriting all of these now, so there is no discrepancies later:

    Hoover’s Movers
    Gload’s Choads
    Castro’s Maestros
    Bastardo’s Retardos

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Did somebody say something? All I heard was a faint cry for attention

  • James Fayleez

    You didn’t have to respond. I was just commenting on something I read.

    It was really bad.

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Ha, seriously Joe D?? JDub looks to YOU for the number of outs? Hahaha — So . . . does he nod to you or do the finger point or what? Hilarious. I’ve never noticed this as the camera frequently follows him jogging out of RF. But I’ll pay close attention tonight.

  • will.H

    kiss him already

  • Fat Joe Blanton

    dub-ill = C3PO with a beard…

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Joe D – You sit directly behind him?

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    I guess I don’t get it. They can’t see the boards?

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    For the record that was from Anchorman. Mind your business fool.

  • crazy4swayze

    i always wanted to start ibañez’s ibanezs. we would have wicked sweet ibanez guitars and we would just start shredding whenever he got a hit or a walk or caught a fly ball or came into the on deck circle.

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    I wonder why no one has done Rube’s Pubes or even Dube’s Pubes. Or why not both, Rube’s and Dube’s Pubes!

  • http://nerdcast.org dUb-iLL

    @ Fat Joe Blanton

    http://twitpic.com/1p6j1g

  • http://www.sciencelost.com ScienceLost

    And I thought “Chooch’s Pooch’s” was a bad idea….

  • James Fayleez

    There is internet respect AND an internet record?

    I’m learning not only about baseball, but about the ways of cyberspace.

    THANKS FIGHTINS!!!

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Maria – that’s great. I vote both: Rube’s & Dube’s Pubes.

  • Tizzle

    Yo this fan group is nothing but phuckin awesome!!! AWESOMENESS!!! Hahahahaha Love “the kid in the dreads” You guys are just jealous at how phuckin awesome we are!! Adam Eaton you are the man

  • Tizzle

    Yo this fan group is nothing but phuckin awesome!!! AWESOMENESS!!! Hahahahaha Love “the kid in the dreads” You guys are just jealous at how phuckin awesome we are!! Adam Eaton you are the man!!

  • Tizzle

    BTW….we are all still blue…its harder than you would think to get off

  • will.H

    “its harder than you would think to get off”

    g spot

  • James Fayleez

    I think it’s awesome that you guys all got together and did this.

    You shouldn’t be afraid to go out and humilate yourself in public.
    It’s your God given right.

  • Joe D

    @phan, I don’t sit directly behind him…I sit 9 rows up but I do it as a joke amongst my friends and Jayson is often scanning the crowd after an out and sometimes he stares at me or at least it definitely looks like he is staring at me.

  • Captain Awesome

    Hey, I was the guy who came up with Dobbs Slobs. We were WAYYY more creative than these clowns.

  • C

    I still regret not coming through on “Ledee’s Bidets”. I didn’t think they’d let us bring in the squirtguns.

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Tizzle – I’m sorry I’m still laughing that you can’t get the blue off. Ha, that is too much. And I could be totally wrong but didn’t that “Papa Smurf” have a BEARD? How come nobody wore a giant blue beard? Yo what’s the matter w/ya’ll? Come on, get on it. Sheesh.

    Joe D – Maybe you look like someone The Bearded One went to highschool with? Hey next time he scans the crowd your whole group of guys should stand up and blow him a kiss. You’d find out if he’s really looking at you that way, heh heh. Okaaaay, maybe not.

  • heythereitsme

    I don’t usually go on this site but just as a side comment, I know the people in this picture, and I think they have every right to do whatever they want at the baseball game as long as it’s not hurting anyone, which it isn’t. They are just a group of friends having a fun time and enjoying the game. Who are all of you to judge them as “failures”? There is nothing to have succeeded or failed in! They had fun. Who cares whether they weren’t “Smurf enough” or whether they looked stupid–they were having fun! I agree, they could have been more into it, but maybe they didn’t have time and this was what they came up with? Either way, they got the point across, they got their desired attention, and they had a nice time. The only thing missing was a Phillies win!

  • heythereitsme

    And also–seriously, who “copyrights” these things?! You can’t say “I copyright this” and consider it copyrighted!!

  • Joe D

    Holy shit you are fucking dumb.

  • heythereitsme

    Excuse me?

  • Big Ben’s Super Bowl Cock Rings

    heythere, it is also every persons’ right on this site to bash anyone and everyone, which happens daily. Meet me in the back of a bar sometime and ill break it down.

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    heythereitsme – Please quit now, while you’re not ahead.

  • Big Ben’s Super Bowl Cock Rings

    “Ruiz-o’s Chorizos”

  • Tim

    you guys are all idiots. just a group of kids trying to have fun and your angered because of them not wearing smurf hats? grow a sack.

  • http://Genericshow.com GenericFanGroup

    Heythereitsme is either one of Werths Smurfs moms or has the lamest idea of what is fun…

    BTW Tizzle who is Blue?

  • http://Genericshow.com GenericFanGroup

    Tim we werent making fun of them for the lack of smurf hats or that they were too big…

    …we were making fun of how lame it was

    why do you keep describing them as kids? are you senior citizens?

  • heythereitsme

    ^ agreed

  • heythereitsme

    ^ agreed with Tim **

  • KP

    HAHAHAHAHA! “Kevin Stocker’s cock blockers.”

    What the hell happened to him?!

  • heythereitsme

    & Generic: I’m not one of their moms, and who cares if it was or wasn’t lame? What’s lame is complaining here that their fun was stupid. They’re college “kids” having fun.

  • Fbomb

    They shoulda just dressed normal and been “Werth’s worst”. I am bringing a Gargamel costume to every game just in case I gotta bust some smurf ass if this shit happens again.

    I’m waiting on Valdez to get called back up…Gonna wrassle up some parking lot sea gulls and dump motor oil on them and release them in the park as “Valdez’s Spills”

  • http://Genericshow.com GenericFanGroup

    @heythereitsme

    it was lame and you are a doodiehead.

  • heythereitsme

    Thanks I’m real offended now.. Your insults are lame.

  • http://Genericshow.com GenericFanGroup

    @heythereitsme

    you coming to the defense of “kids” is lame so I am just insulting you at a level you can understand.

  • heythereitsme

    That one was worse, fyi.

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Tim – Who was “angry” at them? I read some made fun of them, some called their attempt at Smurfdom lame (and it was), some applauded their open attempt at fun. Who cares. Truth is if you paint yourself blue and hang at a Phillies game with a sign reading Werth’s Smurfs (is that an apostrophe in Smurf too??) then you need to be ready to take it Like A Man. Werth would. (Then again, Werth would never do this to begin with.)

    Listen, this isn’t the blog to visit if you’re easily offended or hurt or whatever. You need to be able to take it as well as you think you can dish it out. If you can’t take it then you kind of need to, uh, well, I don’t know, find someplace else to go.

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Fbomb – nonononono – you missed the boat. They should’ve dressed like sausages and gone as Werth’s Wurst. Duh.

  • http://Genericshow.com GenericFanGroup

    …They looked like The Blue Meanie puked on them….

  • Tizzle

    Woooooooooo!!! Smurfs are Awesome!!!! That smurf with the dreads is sooooo cute ;)

  • PhilaFollower

    these smurfs are an embaressment to phillies fans evrywhere, all u care bout is gettin hammered and on tv. Real fan groups were like the Wolf Pack, Flash’s Followers, and Sals Pals. They got hammered, but at least put effort into it and watched the game. Next time stay in the parkin lot cause ur just takin up tix that real fans could use.

  • Fbomb

    I meant that they are the worst ever…So just go as themselves and be the worst.

  • spacecoyote

    What about Werth’s Worths? Everyone dresses like old women… but none of that Mrs. Doubtfire shit.

  • jit stain

    yes, i was a part of this. i realized how dumb it was. thankfully alcohol came to the rescue. we are going to be howards big black cocks next

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Fbomb: Sorry, I did get it. And, btw, you were/are RIGHT. But that goes w/o saying. Honestly, I hope you know I didn’t mean to throw you under the bus. I just took the op to drop in another ‘cute’ group title.

    You have to admit tho, it might be hellacious fun to go around Oktoberfest or something and dress like sausages and have Werth’s Wurst written alllll up along your side. You could totally get hammered, fall down and just . . . roll, and not even get hurt. I haven’t even touched on all the truly horrible stuff you could get away with. The possibilities are endless.

  • jit stain

    harry twatter

  • smurf supporter

    i think this was a splendid idea and there best effort was put out. clearly they are a bunch of kids having a great time and showing their suppose so all you mean ppl need to leave them alone. If the phillies played a bettr game you wouldnt be saying anything

  • http://poop.fart Aunt Jeff

    I think the next groups should be “Uggie Urbina’s Machete Weilding Beaners” or maybe “Brett Myers Domestic Abuse Counselors”

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Dear jit stain’s Mom: Please stop with the moral support for your son and his buddies. You are only adding to their shame. If that was their best effort you might reconsider those tuition payments you’re making for little jit stain. They obviously were hoping to get some attention and they did. No different than Taser boy and FatFuck Asshole DJ….. To quote a true American badass,” If you can’t do the time then don’t do the crime, Don’t do it.”

  • JS & Tizzles Father

    I’ve always tried to teach my children that it didn’t matter who or what they are as long as they gave it their all. If you’re gay, I’ll still love you. Just none of that “owie, go slow it hurts”-sh*t. If you’re gonna be gay, bend over and take it hard in the arse like a man. AND IF YOU’RE GONNA GO AS WERTH’S SMURFS YOU MAN UP AND GO AS FREAKING SMURFS! It’s not that hard to make smurf hats, that’s the kinda crap special-ed kids do for arts and crafts. It’s even easier to fully cover a face with paint. Or protein.

    I’m proud of you boys for having the balls to attempt this, but I’m ashamed you didn’t put your all into it. Now apologize to the rest of the fans before I start regretting I didn’t make Heythereitsme swallow you.

  • jit stain

    dubee dubee du likes to bury his bone in men

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Only the blue ones.

  • Lynniemac

    @PhilaFollower: One correction…the Wolf Pack never EVER got hammered. It was one of their rules: no adult beverages.

  • will.H

    werthers originals would be nice. big old butterscotch lookin humans. try it

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    will H., it should be a bunch of old people. It would only make sense.

  • melvin

    how about we get a bunch of butch lesbians and make dykstra dykes … haha

  • jit stain

    condom

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Are you trying to seduce me jit stain?

    How about a fan group called Cholly’s Jollies- they watch the whole game with their hands down their pants.

  • jit stain

    if you can give me a great idea, slightly inappropriate, but not enough to get kicked out immediately, ill see if i can get a group together and do it

  • jit stain

    and not chollys jollies, there is just something about old man balls that i dont like. its not his weight that is an issue, its just the oldness.

  • Tizzle

    Who would like to gobble on my blue coin purse tonight??? Werths Smurfs Forever!!!

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    I am personally fond of the idea of Dubee’s Boobies: an ensemble of nubile young ladies garbed in cleavage revealing attire. Ah yes. To quote a great sage of the Fighten’s “Giggity-Giggity”.

    All perving all the time.

  • http://www.facebook.com dontworryaboutit

    I just want everyone to take a second and realize how much of their life they just wasted arguing over a bunch of dudes dressed like smurfs…

  • branderson

    ^ agree with this dude

  • jit stain

    branderson is a baby dick

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    ^ agree with this dude

  • principal skinner

    only one thing left to do smurfs… ritual suicide. fuck off and die you cunts

Written by

Proprietor of The Fightins as well as the baseball .GIF overflow tank BALLGAMERS, Tug is also the producer/co-host of The PhoulBallz Podcast with Jay Floyd and staff photographer at City of Basketball Love. His love is divided three ways between his wife, dog, and sandwiches.

@mistertug
R.I.P Harry Kalas