The Fightins'
Nov
10
2009
What Went Wrong: Cole Hamels Edition
Posted by at 10:38 pm ET 124 Comments

What Went Wrong is a feature that may or may not be recurring because the collective mind rape of taking max credits and working a full time job will eventually cause the ‘Tard to implode into himself and forget about this.
If I’ve learned anything from my global travels and travails, it is that there are 2 things that everyone likes: spreadsheets *raises the roof for Excel* and titties. Everything on this plane of existence can be explained through nipples and correlation coefficients, so let me elaborate on why the WFC faltered to the cockgobbling Yankees.

Cole Hamels pitched like a total nutsac this season.Every cotdamn good start (very few of ‘em) would cause the John “rape me with a pitchfork” Clark and the 610 losers to slough off the epithelial layer of Cole’s aforementioned nutsac. They’d use this skin to cook their hobo chili and most fans would slurp it up like Tripp Eisen with a bucketful of 14 year old vaginal squirtings. Cole was extraordinarily inconsistent last year, a shutout followed by a 7 run outing. Terry Schiavo’s pussy could have been a less infuriating pitcher. But let me use pictures to explain, rather than those “words” that only old old people use these days. 2 generations of Titties and graphs after the jump:

Check out Cole’s game-by-game ERA in ’08.

500_08

Now in ’09

500_09

Now ’08 vs. ’09

500_08 v. 09

You’ll notice that in ’08, Cole rarely reaches above the 6.00 ERA line, and in ’09 he is mostly near the 10.00 ERA line. Also, the end of the year difference is disgustingly noticeable. ’09 Cole was erratic and shitty. Let’s hope he doesn’t sucking in ’10. And now, the tits:

500_eva and susan

**In “the ‘Tard whoring himself out in a post news’, mark your calendars for December 5. If any of the loyal Fightins readers live in the New York Metro and would like to see Howdy S. perform his final for his standup comedy class, stop by Gotham in NYC at 5PM.

  • Pelle

    Dude… 14 year old vaginal drippings? You just lost a reader.

  • Shay Roddy

    ‘tard- you have captured what makes The Fightins great. All in one post! Titties, fancy looking shit (graphs) and baseball.

  • http://www.twitter.com/mmccl267 Mark

    titties, fancy looking shit (graphs), baseball, and Terry Schiavo is what you meant to say. Right, Shay?

  • Phils Phan

    @ Pelle:

    My office mate just became a reader. The circle of life.

  • Your mom

    it wasn’t the e it was the eggrolls

  • Matt F

    This really isn’t much pointing out ‘What Went Wrong’. It’s just pointing out that something is wrong, which we all kinda knew.

  • Flash McFly

    TRADE THE BASTARD!!

  • http://www.defendbroadstreet.wordpress.com Matt

    14 year old vaginal squirtings+Terry Schiavo’s pussy=win

  • Voogull, It’s Exciting and New

    @ Matt F

    In a way, this entry did point out what went wrong. One could argue with some credibility that ‘tits’, a main theme of this article, were directly and proportionately responsible for Cole’s failings this season. It seems to me, the casual observer of both baseball and tits, that as Cole wife (representing tits in this scenario) has gained influence in Cole’s life (see, e.g., the doggie backpack incident and the atrocious Liberty Place ads), his performance on field has diminished, as illustrated by the above graphs. So it’s up to you individually to determine whether tits are bad (dog in bag and graphs) or tits are great (pictures of tits).

    Spoiler: Tits are great, Cole just needs to moderate his tit influence, oh, and pitch better lest he earn a stomach punch.

  • BigMiles

    Cole will be back. Count on it.

  • Matt F

    I stand corrected

  • Heese

    Cole had bad luck with BABIP this year (.312) and good luck last year (.262). I think we’ll see an ERA in the mid 3s in 2010. He is fine although I still would love to him develop a nice third pitch.

  • http://www.phonetrace.org Griswold

    His best hope is to learn a thing or two from Clifton.
    He also needs to develop some masculinity and stop with the metrosexual shit.
    And the backpack dog needs to go.

    And beardo still needs to go

  • Thriller

    IMO this post/comments is 1/2 absolute genius and 1/2 absolute garbage. Well done sir(s).

  • http://www.majorleaguejerk.com Gonzo

    @Griswold: Yeah, because it’s his wife that’s the problem. The one he’s been with for 5 years now.

    @Tard: let’s get some Youtube linkage of your work. Had no idea you were a comedian.

  • KP

    LMAO Tripp Eisen reference. Meech marry me?

  • http://www.thefightins.com How do you spell retard?

    @Gonzo
    I have a midterm this Monday on campus that’ll I’ll prolly have the audio for, and the final in December is videotaped and I get a copy.

  • http://highhopesblog.com Shay Roddy

    Nailed it Mark! And Sarge Matthews too, I suppose!

  • ill

    I am giving Cole a clean slate for next season. His WSMVP season and what happened last season cancel each other out and I am optimisitic that he is return to form for 2010.

  • Muscles

    Can anyone explain why Cole has a picture of Fenway Park on his homepage?

    http://www.colehamels.com/

  • Watrick

    And, why is Fenway backwards?

  • vendor71

    @Muscles:

    Not only is it Fenway, it’s Fenway in a parallell universe. The wall is in right field? WTF?

  • KP

    Maybe Heidi thought it was more asthetically pleasing.

  • D. Whitmore

    @heese (#12)

    BABIP doesn’t tell any part of the story. it doesn’t seperate the screaming liners from broken bat bloop singles. from watching every start from the son of a bitch this year i noticed two things. missing spots within the strike zone all the time. and then watching those same pitches be scorched all over the field. i wish there was an easier way to get his pitch f/x data for every hit he allowed and show the location of those pitches with respect to catcher location and the count of the at bat.

  • don

    @D. Whitmore

    I saw plenty of times where Cole almost got out of an inning but gave up an extra couple runs on a bloop down the line or a grounder just out of reach.

    His walk, strikeout, and HR rates were all almost exactly the same from ’08 to ’09. If he were just grooving straight fastballs, I’d expect a lot more home runs if nothing else.

  • KP

    Ooops. The credit for the Tripp Eisen comment actually goes to “How do you spell retard?”
    Classic.

  • Lew Blum

    Final for a stand up comedy class? Do you go to clown school?

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    I feel like I had something to say about Cole, but then I started thinking about titties

  • James Fayleez

    Whoever wrote this article tried REALLY hard to be outrageous and/or funny and failed miserably.

    I think they realized it and that’s why we got to see Sarandon funbags.

  • Heese

    @D. Whitmore and don
    You should check out this article:
    http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=9751

    I thought similar to you throughout the season, but now looking back it seems Cole gave up less line drives, less HRs (in less IPs), and missed the same amount of bats. It’s an interesting read.

  • Luis A.

    tits>cole hamels

  • Luis A.

    I’ve been wondering why Fenway Park’s in the background of Cole’s home page as well. Shouldn’t it be CBP in the background?

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    I pretty much blew my Cole load on the thread before this.

    My argument was basically that the guy never had a psychological break from the game from ST ’08 all the way thru WS ’09. Some guys could probably handle this. Cole can not.

    I say it again. I call for 18 wins, with an under of 15 and an over of 20, and a sub-3 ERA pretty much straight thru the season. He will be much better poised for success as a definite number 2 behind Lee, and a good three months of being completely “off” and not flying between multiple cities for interviews, endorsements, etc.

    Also, on the Fenway Park thing on Cole’s page…not only is the Monster on the wrong side, but look how short the left field fence is? Brian McCann thinks CBP is like a wiffle ball field, but the dimensions on that parallel universe of Fenway would give Cole fits, for sure.

  • Luis A.

    I hope McCann doesn’t name his kid after the CBP

  • Phylan

    @Whitmore: His line drive, ground ball, and flyball percentages were about the same this year as in 08. In fact, his line drive % went down a point. And the percentage of balls in the strike zone that were contacted by hitters went down 4%

    And Heese, you’re right, except his 2009 BABIP was even higher than that – .325. BABIP tells the WHOLE story for 2009 Cole Hamels.

  • Phylan

    Other things that stayed the same for Cole Hamels from ’08 to ’09 – his walk rate, strikeout rate, and home run rate. Actually, if you want to get down to the hundredths decimal, his walk rate went down and strikeout rate went up.

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    How about the defense efficiency ratio when Cole is pitching?

    Fuckin with ya. All these crazy stats…what it comes down to is that Cole is mentally weak at times and lost some command and velocity on his fastball. Boom.

  • Phylan

    I guess you wouldn’t ask if you didn’t know but that dipped way down as well! The defense was making way less plays behind him!

    If he lost command on his fastball, why did his zone contact percentage go down, and his line drive percentage go down? Wouldn’t they be hitting his fastball more, and harder? If he’s mentally weak, why did he put forth the same effort in 09, just with horrendous luck?

    In fact, if he’s mentally weak, how was he lights out in the 2008 playoffs? NLCS and World Series MVP?

    While you’re at it, what does “mentally weak” even mean?

  • http://www.thefightins.com How do you spell retard?

    @Phylan

    His Olfactory nerve and Reticular Activating System do not work properly.
    /science’d

  • don

    @Heese – Interesting article. I basically agree with what they’re saying, though I’m sure if he could get that curveball working better it would help him strike a few more guys out.

    By the way, the less HR in less IP ends up working out to 1.11 HR/9 in 2008 and 1.12 HR/9 in 2009.

    I’d guess his ERA next year is somewhere in the middle 3′s in front of the typically good Philly defense, unless something drastically changes.

  • Phylan

    By the way sorry if I get really bitchy about this but just yesterday I was arguing with some dude who said Cole never was that good because he never won 18 games so I’m a little on edge about it

  • ju

    ERA? What a great way to measure a pitcher!

  • Phylan

    Take every pitcher in the league with their ERA each year, and see how much correlation there is from one season to the next. Then take their groundball, walk, and strikeout rate each year. See which one correlates more!

  • Kenny Powers

    Sometimes when you bring the thunder, you get lost in the storm.

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Mentally weak = bitch. When he threw up his arms when Chase threw that ball away – that’s bitchassness. Keep your emotions in check, dude. And notice I said “at times.” I think Cole can be great.

    When his fastball doesn’t hit the low 90s, that’s loss of velocity which, if I’m not mistaken, was the case many an outting. As for the command part, I just threw that in there as filler. I’m no baseballologist like you, Phylan. And how do you know he put forth the same effort? Are you some omniscient Hamels overseer? And what’s luck got to do with it?

    While you’re throwing all these line drive and zone percentages and what not at me, did you take into account the lineups he faced in ’08 and ’09. Did he see more hitters prone to hit lines in either year? I’m seriously asking you this, btw. Did he face more lefties and righties in either year?

    Listen, I like Cole. I am by no means a Hamels hater. I was all over his nuts in ’08 and before that. And, like all of you, I expect him to do well since he’s our co-ace, but is he even eligible to join BABIP? http://babip.org/

  • D. Whitmore

    the babip is a very tough group to get into

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Based solely on that Liberty Place ad he did, I’d say he’s got a shot.

  • Phylan

    I’m not trying to be a baseballologist, it just comes down to this: I watch, in a given season, probably 150 to 155 Phillies games, depending on what my schedule allows. Almost all of them. But even when I’m watching someone like Hamels play the game, I’m no more reliable than an eyewitness to a crime being committed. My observations are subject to selective memory (see also: confirmation bias), whatever excitement or adrenaline is involved if it’s a big moment in the game, so on and so forth. My eyes lie to me. As does yours to you. Therefore, it’s useful to take a look at the numbers and see what’s really going on.

    Now, you may have looked at the radar gun for a certain percentage of his fastballs, and seen that it appeared slower than normal this year. I had that thought in my head for a while to. But when I look at the numbers and see that his average fastball this year was 90.2, and last year it was 90.4, a negligible difference, why should I trust my own observations?

    I get the “mental” stuff. I know it looks stupid when he throws his arms up at Utley. But the dude has had a frustrating season. He’s far from the only pitcher to show frustration on the mound, and he’s certainly far from the most demonstrative (hello Joba). What it comes down to is, I see no evidence that this effects how he pitches, and that’s all I really care about.

    What I mean by “put forth the same effort” was that all of the things that a pitcher has control over were the same for him from ’08 to ’09. Strikeouts, walks, homeruns. That’s the true makeup of a pitcher. Maybe it sounds nuts to some people, but when Hamels snaps back to form next year, and Happ looks much more like a fourth starter, it’ll make more sense.

  • Phylan

    Oh, and for what it’s worth, 21% of the hitters he faced in 2009 were lefties, compared to 25% in 2008. I’m not sure if that makes a difference or not. I’m wondering if there is a way to compare the relative skill levels of batters faced each year, but honestly when a guy faces about 1,000 hitters a year, that stuff tends to even out.

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Thank you for clarifying. I think we are on the same page now.

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    And Phylan, I do appreciate your insight and observations. Sometimes I need help balancing out my subjective nature.

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Speaking of demonstrative shows of frustration, John Lackey would make Hamels look “too light” – like the beer commercial where the chick breaks up with a guy. Lackey would be the chick that throws the guy out of a moving car. If there’s any chance of him coming here (I fully do not believe there is), everyone would forget about the Hamels fits.

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    BTW – Phylan: you may not be trying to be a baseballologist, but you clearly are. It takes no trying.

    You should make a career out of that or something.

    Bob Smith: “What do you do?”
    Phylan: “Oh, I’m a baseballologist at the Institute for Accurate Baseball Analysis.”

  • Luis A.

    Lackey actually called his manager Sciosch.

  • Phylan

    I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would put that on a business card if I could.

    And likewise, Dash, I need some balancing out of my robotic bleep bloop nature from time to time.

  • Ozzie Virgil’s Beard

    With the exception of Annie Savoy’s tits (I still love her in Bull Durham), this post is both worthless and irrelevant. The guy had a bad year it’s over. Move on. Just to show that sometimes bad years happen in the game of baseball,

    At the age of 25, a guy all Phillies fans may have heard of, Steve Carlton, went 10-19 for the Cardinals in 1970. He had a 3.73 ERA. In 1969, he was 17-10. In 1971, he was 20-9. Two years later for the Phillies, 27-10. Cole was 10-11 with a 4.32 this year while he was 14-10 last year and 15-5 the year before. In no way am I trying to say that Cole is like Lefty. Because he isn’t. Not even close. But the occasional stinker of a season happens and it’s time to turn the page. However if he pulls this shit again next year, by all means tear him down. I’ll help.

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Well put, Mr. Virgil

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Phylan, I’m not sure what you’re doing in this pic but I’m pretty sure this is you as a baseballologist.
    http://www.twitpic.com/p4gmm

    Boom. Avatar.

  • Heese

    @Phylan, I think I had a typo in my first post (12), I think I saw .321 I just switched the last two.

  • Phylan

    Actually that’s me smoking meth out of a baseball (the only way to do it imo)

  • Luis A.

    What’s with the Phils interest in Fernando Rodney?

  • Luis A.

    Hopefully Cole will round into his 2007 form

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    lmao @ the pic, and @ Phylan’s meth comment.

    That is definitely avatar material. Do it Phylan! Join the club!

  • MOShill

    “Terry Schiavo’s pussy could have been a less infuriating pitcher”

    This is such a lame attempt at trying to be funny. It doesn’t make sense. It would have been so much funnier if it said “Terry Schiavo could have hit Cole’s change-up down the line with her feeding tube in 2009.”

    C’mon Spell Retard. You bring this website down because you try too hard. Leave the funny stuff to the other contributors who actually are funny.

    And the John Clark comment was in the category of ‘trying too hard” also.

  • Evan

    rodney throws GAS

  • D. Whitmore

    damn MOShill. howdy is all good in my book. keep the tripp eisen jokes coming.

  • MOShill

    I’m just saying that you can see through his writing that he is trying too hard with his material. For every half chuckle I get, I notice 3 bombs thrown in for shock value. The Fightin’s is better than that.

  • Pat

    i couldnt agree more with moshill

    I have said repeatedly that Howdy brings this website down when he does make his rare post. It’s always horribly vulgar, but worst of all, its not funny. I wouldn’t mind vulgar or offensive if it was actually funny. He’s just a huge douche to everyone, and is useless to this team. Clearly, a lot of people have a problem with him, and I’m hoping meech will take it upon himself to do something about this.

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Come on guys, Howdy is not Cole Hamels – don’t bash him in public like that.

  • MOShill

    It boils down to this: Is he using his vulgarity/shock value in a ‘smart funny’ way or a sophomoric way. It’s the difference between going to a comedy show and seeing Seinfeld and going to a comedy show and seeing the guy who played Kramer. One is smart funny and the other just shits-the-bed with vulgarity and nonsense.

  • Pat

    he’s much worse than cole hamels and has done a lot less for us than hamels has

  • James Fayleez

    The guy’s name is Howdy that wrote this mess?

    He has to be friends with meech or something. Maybe he bought that lousy Chan Ho shirt.

  • KP

    I didn’t think it was THAT bad. The Tripp joke made me laugh. The Terry joke…not so much.
    It was just too much.

    I had to read it three times to figure out what he was trying to SAY ABOUT HAMELS.

    With some of the jokes taken out..it owuld have helped a lot.

  • http://www.majorleaguejerk.com Gonzo

    The feck is a Tripp Eisen?

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    I didn’t know want a Tripp Eisen was either. I just laughed because everybody else was and I wanted to fit in.

  • KP

    ^lol. He was the guitarist for static x/dope/murderdolls. He got arrested for having sex with a 14 year old girl. Had the “pleasure” of knowing him personally. Dude was a douchebag.

    I had no idea who Terry was. Had to google it. Then I remembered.

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Wow. Look out hdysr….they’re coming with torches and pitchforks.

  • BigMiles

    Not a big fan of HDYSR but some people like his shit…so more power to him.

    Also just wanted to point out that the700level had a poll asking if you would trade Cole for Halladay and it was 50/50. I find this to be extremely ridiculous. Of course most people were like well if you could sign Halladay it would be totally worth it. Well no shit. But the fact is that everyone jumped off a cliff with this guy and its time to come back to earth. It’s good that you bright folks here seem to be on the same page.

  • YankeeChuck

    Love your website. Fun reading the whining of Phillies fans. Heard the Yanks wll pursue Utley, Lee and Werth. About the only guys worth anything on the Phils. Utley will be great coming off the bench.

  • don

    You’re an idiot.

  • KP

    X2

  • http://www.phonetrace.org Griswold

    Come on Cole, keep poundin’ the corner, get him to chase one outside.

    fail

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Haha, good one. Utley would never sell his soul to the devil anyway.

  • http://www.phonetrace.org Griswold

    I seriously think the dad in that commercial is Cole’s actual dad. They seriously look alike.

  • Mark

    I’m in agreement that hdysr brings this site down. I come on here for insight and comments on what the Phillies are up to, and I read a 175 word post that has ONE sentence that doesn’t involve vulgarity or blatant immaturity.

    “Cole was extraordinarily inconsistent last year, a shutout followed by a 7 run outing”

    Thank you, anything intelligent to add to that?

    “Terry Schiavo’s pussy could have been a less infuriating pitcher”

    Thanks a lot. That helps SO MUCH when it comes to talking about the Phillies.

    I want to say go fuck yourself, hdysr, but I really don’t wanna bring myself down to your level.

  • DPW

    This is in response to the “Alternate Universe Fenway” comments made a while ago. It is two pictures edited together, one being a view from behind home plate and the other being a view from right field. But like the rest of you, I do not understand why it is on Cole’s site.

  • bigmyc

    Gonzo, blow it out your cockhole (not the urethra). Heidi made him do the back pack doggy duty. Do you hear me? She made him do it. Say with me.

  • bigmyc

    Clearly Yankee Chuck should not even be heeded for his intellectually challlenged comments. You see, Chuck has been a dirty little embarrassment for his family for quite some time now…it all started back in Pre-K during the “round peg-round hole/ square peg square-square hole exercise” when he broke the mold and stuck his penis in the the trianglular hole.

  • Peg Stocker

    Meech, can you please listen to your fanbase and curb hdysr’s posts?

    A) They sound like a highschooler is writing them
    B) This is a Phillies blog and he writes nonsense for 90% of his article and 10% on Phillies news
    C) I am sure there is someone out there who could pick up his slack. It’s sad when the comments section is the best part of his posts.

    Thanks,
    Peg

  • James Fayleez

    I have a feeling that the retard guy is a “character” that meech is trying out….

  • D. Whitmore

    hdysr? has been a staple at the fightins since sept of 08. noone else posts quality tits like he can.

  • KP

    That’s teh whole problem. It’s not THAT bad…BUT. IT’s just “too much”. It’s hard to tell what he’s saying because the whole THING is a giant vulgar joke.
    If it was toned down a bit it wouldn’t be so bad.

  • Pierre

    He always picked the palest women for his tittie posts. Can we get someone who looks like they’ve ever been in the sun?

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Yeah! Let’s kill him. Robblerobblerobblerobblerobblerobblerobblerobblerobble!

    Come on – all you have to do is skip his posts. Granted we’re all foaming at the mouth for any relevant Phillies conversation, but give the guy a break. Besides the posts, one thing that makes the Fightins dot com great are the commentors. So if you don’t like what he has to say raise some points on your own and create some dialogue.

  • Pedro Feliz

    One thing I won’t miss about Philly? hdysr’s posts!

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Come to think of it, when I’ve told people about The Fightins Dot Com, I’ve frequently found myself telling them, “It’s cool, but kinda vulgar,” but I think that’s only after I’ve read a hdysr post.

    Time for the boot & subsequent “writer needed” posting, perhaps?

  • bigmyc

    Jdouchdoge,

    I think I’ll have to take some cred for softening and shaping your outlook. If I recall correctly, and when you’ve hit the hooch as much as I have that’s a major accomplishment, but this “create some dialog” thing that you are all about now was not something you and others tolerated a while back..especially concerning posters who disagreed with the posters of record.

    No sweat though…I like to influence commenters one mini-ball bagged poster at a time.

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Oh snap bigmyc! You just laid da smack down on me!

    The Yankees are to Pedro as bigmyc is to Jdash

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    give it to me!

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    that sweet 100!

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Most people on here are (and have for a while been) down with dialog. People just don’t like it much when certain other people are arrogant d-bags within said dialog.

    Glad to see you’re bag to your usual insults and belittlement, bigmyc. Well, I supposed it never went away, but it had been aimed at the enemy in recent weeks. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    bigmyc is what he is and I never want him to change :)

  • bigmyc

    ‘Preciate the gleeming packets of love that you boys are chuckin’ my way…

    Think of my barbing as an “intra-squad” scrimmage. The real game is played on the trolling fools of the opposing teams who come in here and attempt to establish themselves..like so many colonies of bacterium.

    Please see my post addressing the cerebellum-challenged Yankee Upchuck for an example.

  • bigmyc

    Plus, JDiggydog, at this point, you are like my little brother…

    ..or my older brother with a learning impediment.

  • bigmyc

    ;) Aloha.

  • Shane Victorino

    I’m getting married on Saturday. Goodbye strange poon! Any of you guys have any honeymoon advice?

  • bigmyc

    Don’t invite Gosselin to it.

  • YankeeChuck

    Hey bigmyc-

    Do I know you?? You seem to know some of my family history…and great comebacks….rational and well-thought out. By the way, that triangular hole was Ms. Finelli, my 22 year old blonde pre-K teacher….with double DDs……..my first triumph. I’m still a legend at St. Joe’s School.

    I used to think Red Sox fans were the best, but this blog mandates that I rethink that.

    Bottom line, Philadelphia will always be NY’s bitch and now the Phils are the Yankees’ bitch.

  • will.H

    yankeechuck, elitist yankees fans dont impress us. you and your “i gotta show them how i roll” attitude is downright silly. you’re just a pussy visiting a phillies blog to remind yourself your team won the world series.

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Think of my barbing as an “intra-squad” scrimmage.

    My appreciation for your work has increased significantly, bigmyc. Now have at it again with the Upchuck. You are our savior against these terds.

  • YankeeChuck

    Just having some fun, Will. I mean, you guys aren’t really having intellectual conversations here, are you?

    My real probelm is I miss baseball. As to elitist, being a Jets’ fan and a Knicks’ fan sort of equalizes things, ya know?

  • Shane Victorino

    I miss baseball too. Oh well, off to spend my millions!

  • bigmyc

    Attaguy, Vic…you go. Nice job in last year’s postseason. 13 RBI, man, that’s something. C.C. will never forget you.

    So, go ahead and have a good time at your luau and your honeymoon. Enjoy your pig… the one at the luau, I mean.

  • bigmyc

    Heathcliff, isn’t it funny what a ground swell of opinion will do for a guy’s cred, eh?..

    Not tryin’ to call anyone sheep or anything like that…(whistling while trying to look inconspicuous).

    Anyhow, these trolls only take their beating and roll on. The more astute ones drop the Internet Tough Guy routine and actually attempt banter with the Phils’ phans. Still, it’s fun teeing up on the poor bastards who just don’t understand until it’s too late.

  • bigmyc

    Yankee Chuck,

    You re-thinking anything that you got wrong in the first place is like reusing a condom that broke the first time around…come to think of it, isn’t that how you came to be? New Yorkers…yuk, yuk.

    Anyway, you just happened to get it right when you re-thought that Sawx fans might be the best.
    Hell, a broken clock is right at least twice a day.

  • YankeeChuck

    bigmyc-

    Not rethinking anything. I was just trying to throw a little humility and class into a basically classless and vulgar blog with that offer. There are lots of Yankee fans who show similar classlessness on Yankee blogs. I’m not one of them. I discovered this site by accident and was just having a little fun. And your condom comments are amusing…that’s not what I’m talking about. This blog should focus more on what the Phillies accomplished last year and this than its incredibly vulgar propensity.
    Chuck

  • maggie

    YankeeChuck — you missed your back-waxing appointment.

  • bigmyc

    OK, Chuckles. But know this; we live in fucked up times. There’s no denying this. Entertainment isn’t quite what it used to be. You kinda have to go with the flow, ya know? Look at today’s more hip sit-coms: It’s always Sunny in Philly, the League, any of the HBO series out now..even 30 Rock to an extent. So, while solid baseball talk is not uncommon here, it only goes so far, especially at season’s end.

    If you come here with that username at this point slinging what you were, then expect to ruffle a few feathers. Most understand it’s all about amusement and usually half of those that don’t come around to “getting it.”

  • Matsui is from Japan

    Why don’t you bring some “class” to some yankees website somewhere?
    Busted, dude, you like this website.
    If you don’t, then move along.

  • Shane Victorino

    This marriage thing is killing me…

  • http://twitter.com/JayDashDog Jdashdog

    Get out while you still can, Shane! It’s not too late!

  • Shane Victorino

    It is too late. She already placed the cock-ring on my finger. Aloha strange pussy.

  • Mike

    terrible read.

  • Eric Cartman

    Where are you HDYSR? ?

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