The Fightins'
The Greatest Video Game Ever Created
Posted by at 11:11 am ET 33 Comments

You feel like wasting half your day playing a video game on the internet? Goooood. Click that picture up there for the latest BANGER from the fine folks at Tauntr, Phillies Assassin: License To Tase. Trust me.

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  • Watrick

    Yo, that shit is hard on a laptop.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Loved spotting the faces in the crowd.

    Last line in the game makes me smirk while saying “Fucking douchebag” through my teeth.

  • Poster Nutbag

    my favorite part is the rating: M for Mature. Contains Philadelphia.

  • yellowbird


  • John

    I love how the Obamas are just in the front row of Level 3.

    Great little game.

  • Phils Phan

    I keep looking for Ed Wade–you know, to get in a parting shot–but cannot locate him.

  • bigmyc

    I can’t find the lady who is suing the Phanatic.

  • Burgoyne at it again

    Don’t worry, bigmyc. I’ll get her address and some of her more frequented spots.

  • Nikita

    From the blurb:
    “The most notorious fan base in all of professional sports in the United States really needs to calm down.”

    Oh you must mean the fans who rioted when their team won the NBA final, sending dozens of people to ER, setting cabs on fire, and pulling bus drivers out the window. Wrong city? Never mind.

    Yeah Philly fan base is so notorious that all the soccer mommies come out of the woodwork demanding an apology from J-Dub because he was trying to win a game in extra innings.

    Uh-huh, we bad.

  • Just another dickweed

    Y’all DO know that this is severly condescending to Philly fans and NOT a celebration of our marquee?

    By the same token, it’s a great game, huh? Great sign, “Will Phuck for Tickets.”

  • Uncle Charlie’s hands

    so ummm, cliff lee might go to the bronx.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    lol might

    He is.

  • James Fayleez

    They have all the Philly cliches covered here….

  • Nikita

    Did you know that Eagles fans even booed Santa Claus at Veterans Stadium?

  • James Fayleez

    I heard the Philly fans threw batteries at JD Drew. They also booed Michael Irvin when he was injured. Then they booed Adam Eaton when he came back to claim the World Series ring he sat at home to earn.


  • TonyIsDynamic

    Cliff Lee deal “imminent”.


  • TonyIsDynamic

    Phillies in 3rd place, Jayson Werth trade rumors, and Cliff Lee just got traded to the Yankees…

    Anyone else look out their window and see a VERY dark cloud in the sky? Thunderstorms is the perfect weather for today.

  • Uncle Charlie’s hands

    Will this ever get updated?
    I hope not

  • Nikita

    I heard that Ryan Madson broke his toe after he kicked some little kid in the nutsack, and that’s the real reason he went on the DL.

    And that some Phillies fan planted a bomb on the DuckBoat and sunk it, ’cause he was so messed up about Brad Lidge.

  • don

    I don’t understand what’s going on, but I think I tazed Micheal Moore.

  • OutlawPete

    quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

  • CTM

    Fucking. Awesome.

  • Uncle Charlie’s hands

    lol change the name to boston

  • YankeesSuckArod

    Greatest game ever, but I wish they had Ed Wade and Curt Schilling in there!

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Shouldn’t we be tasing the hell out of a GREEN-SHIRTED DAD in RF?! Aaaahahahahahaha! Now that would be a real Philadelphia sports fan, wouldn’t it, beating up on a poor innocent daddy just trying to grab a foul ball for his widdle kiddy?

  • GTO

    And life in now complete.

  • tase abuser

    that was AWESOME.

  • Muscles

    wait what am i supposed to do for level two?

  • Bud

    Taze kids who are drinking, of course

  • WerthBeard

    ok, i just beat level 3 and nothing else is showing up. is the game over??

  • Who Cares

    I can’t beat level two

  • Lane Murphy


    I’m the co-founder of I’m so glad to see that you and your audience enjoyed the Phillies Assassin game we created. Love your site…would like to link up. Are you interested in reciporocal linking?

    Lane Murphy
    Tauntr, Inc.

  • greggyD’sPatch

    Lane… isn’t that a chicks name?

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