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Posts Tagged ‘ZWR’

Posted by at 2:00 pm ET 6 Comments

I’m going to give it you straight here, because I care about you and treasure your friendship: the Phillies aren’t really that good at baseball right now. AND, this season may turn out to be quite a slog. I know, tough news to hear. I’m not saying that there’s no hope of us turning things around–I mean after all, we have ROY MOTHERDUCKING HALLADAY–it’s just that, things tend to look reallllly bleak after you lose three out of four to the Pirates.

But I checked with the Pope and, no matter how bad we suck, we’re still allowed to make fun of the Mets.

So here’s a scouting report for the upcoming series.

Ike Davis

Feels like, “A cup in the middle of the sea.”


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Phillies bloggers meet the cast of The Wire: Please check out the latest BANGA from Zoo With Roy where he matches up characters from The Wire with their Phillies blogging counterparts. He had me at Meech = Avon Barksdale. [Zoo With Roy]

Posted by at 10:05 pm ET 18 Comments

This is kind of tough. The little guy is nomming some Funyuns and there’s no telling what I’d do if I got to that bag. But this will be short lived. I can do this. For now however I shall Twitter to the masses, providing humor to the masses

Spot check: still gooooooooood.

I smell McGriddle. I know McGriddle. I cannot eat McGriddle. AND NOW THE “I’M EGGIN’ IT” SONG COMES ON?!

It’s the Mets. I’ll be fine. This is good publicity. I mean, I was just on the radio. Sound move, Meechton. Well played.

As the evolution from street tough blogger to affluent Mac owner attests to a greater transformation, I think it time to consider moving to Maine and opening a breakfast shop. The full shabang, too. I’ll wear red plaid flannel and an LL Bean hat that I got at the outlet. Folks can hang their coffee mugs on the wall- a real mom and pop place with hipster flair. We’ll source a local farm for maple syrup, another for blueberries, and write clever things on the menus/chalk board. Sell “Chocolate Neutral Milk Hotel”. “We support same sex unions: Maple Syrup and Powdered Sugar!” Lord, I must stop thinking of food. I know, I’ll go read Zoo With Roy! (back from ZWR) That guy is dope, yo. I think I’ll name the place The Meechy Moose. omg yes

Twenty-one days lost at sea I fought
For twenty-two years non-stop I’ve talked
Through the desert, piss drunk, and confused I walked
I spit a tooth in the palm of my hand

This stromboli is going to be soooo good. And I didn’t tell anyone, but I’m straight killing some Combos afterwards. A STROMBO COMBO COMBO Y’ALL! RUN TMC.

I might as well just go to bed, right? For how many days?

Dude, I want some chicken fingers. For real. My kingdom for some honey mustard. At least Deitch thinks I’m cool.

BIG PELF. Saddest.

cotdamn cotdamn cotdamn goddamn. criminy. bejesus cotdamn.

this portrait from my youth depicts not the impetuous servant to righteousness i've now become

and yet i can’t believe it’s taken this long to return to, or dare say arrive at, or perhaps more aptly stumble upon (my mind’s path lighted dimly forgive me) our friend the hunger artist (no energy for capital letters and i know it’s kafka which i reference). from my cage from my cage from my cage i see them all see them there and they look but only for a moment, that another which i haven’t eaten will not eat. my art unappreciated, my act barely amusement anymore, this … famine for meaning. but i am a hunger artist. noble.


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