Ugh; another shutout, this time at the hands of the Florida Marlins. How is it almost every bat in the lineup decides to take off on the same day? Is this like when women go to the bathroom in groups or synchronize their periods?

Seven runs in three games does not cut it when you’re facing one of the more generous pitching rotations in either league. For an offense that claims to be a potent one, when they have an off-day… oof, is it fucking noticeable.

Meanwhile, our division enemies got slightly closer than they did before this latest series began. The Mets dropped one to San Diego, and the Fightins’ got both ends of their game together long enough to hold off the Marlins in a victory at home, but the lead shrank (shrinked? has shrunken?) to 1.5 games.

In order for the Phillies to maintain that slim lead as we head into the doldrums of mid-August, it would be nice to win if not sweep a series at home. So, who do we face next? [pulls lever]

THANK YOU, JESUS!