Cole Hamels pitched like a total nutsac this season.Every cotdamn good start (very few of ‘em) would cause the John “rape me with a pitchfork” Clark and the 610 losers to slough off the epithelial layer of Cole’s aforementioned nutsac. They’d use this skin to cook their hobo chili and most fans would slurp it up like Tripp Eisen with a bucketful of 14 year old vaginal squirtings. Cole was extraordinarily inconsistent last year, a shutout followed by a 7 run outing. Terry Schiavo’s pussy could have been a less infuriating pitcher. But let me use pictures to explain, rather than those “words” that only old old people use these days. 2 generations of Titties and graphs after the jump:

Check out Cole’s game-by-game ERA in ’08.

Now in ’09

Now ’08 vs. ’09

You’ll notice that in ’08, Cole rarely reaches above the 6.00 ERA line, and in ’09 he is mostly near the 10.00 ERA line. Also, the end of the year difference is disgustingly noticeable. ’09 Cole was erratic and shitty. Let’s hope he doesn’t sucking in ’10. And now, the tits:

**In “the ‘Tard whoring himself out in a post news’, mark your calendars for December 5. If any of the loyal Fightins readers live in the New York Metro and would like to see Howdy S. perform his final for his standup comedy class, stop by Gotham in NYC at 5PM.