While it may not be an appealing phrase, rhyme-wise, (just like how Lidge’s entrance isn’t appealing, musically) many people are suggesting that Madson be moved to closer duty, given Lidge’s recent suckiness on the mound. While the numbers may suggest this is an improvement, Mad Dog closing move could also totally fuck up the bullpen and leave a shitstorm after the 7th inning.

History tells us that Madson does not adjust well to new roles. I was one of the overly optimistic fools that believed Mad Dog would flourish as a starter. The man was a cotdamn monster when he first came up from the farm system! But whence he was designated a starter in ’06, he stank more than a Amy Winehouse-Courtney Love scissor session. Logically, one would believe that the adjustment fucked him up. Motherfucker forgot how to pitch after becoming so comfortable as a mid to late relief man. That is what’s worrisome about the thought of him closing.

As the moving picture box has told us lately, professional athletes are total pussies. Errr, I mean professional athletes suffer from anxiety and sociological problems. Some deal with it by taking anxiety medication, others choose to light farm hands on fire and machete the fuck outta them. Lidge being moved from a closer’s spot could affect the man some believe to have his fragile moments. So moving Madson to closer would most likely make Lidge the setup man. This can go one of two ways 1.) Madson is a successful closer, and Lidge is a decent setup man, or 2.) Madson shits himself again in a new role, Lidge cannot deal with the demotion, making the bullpen totally fucked.

While 6 blown saves are pretty sucky, I’m not sure if this is a risk you want to take. Madson could work as a closer, but I doubt B-Lidge would be a successful setup brah. If only the Phillies had another infielder with an oddly shaped head they could trade for a homicidal middle reliever…

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