Posts Tagged ‘David Wright’
I’m going to give it you straight here, because I care about you and treasure your friendship: the Phillies aren’t really that good at baseball right now. AND, this season may turn out to be quite a slog. I know, tough news to hear. I’m not saying that there’s no hope of us turning things around–I mean after all, we have ROY MOTHERDUCKING HALLADAY–it’s just that, things tend to look reallllly bleak after you lose three out of four to the Pirates.
But I checked with the Pope and, no matter how bad we suck, we’re still allowed to make fun of the Mets.
So here’s a scouting report for the upcoming series.
Feels like, “A cup in the middle of the sea.”
There’s another one after the jump.
It’s like if Mighty Mouse decided to take up baseball. You look great, Shane:
MUCH better than that David Wright character.
Good ol’ Davey Wright must got his feelings hurt by all those mean Mets fans who were saying bad things about his HUGE helmet the other night, so when he came to the plate in last night’s game, he wore a variation of the hideous Rawlings S100.
Behold… THE DOUBLE FLAP!
So it appears as if the Dark Helmet/Great Gazoo jokes have to be put on hold until he wises up and chooses to switch back. Until then, courtesy of intuitive commenter and spot-on Wheels impersonator D.Whitmore, we have his new doppelgänger.
In an un-The Fightins like maneuver, I had a personal embargo against Mets posts here for a while on the site. I just felt with all the injuries and shit they’ve had this year that it really wasn’t fun to laugh at them while they were trotting out the Fernando Tatis’ of the world as their number three hitter…
…but then David Wright had to get activated from the DL and wear this helmet:
In case you haven’t noticed, that new Disney/Michael Bay “film” G-Force (OMG DYK that it’s Michael Bay’s first 3-D movie?) has teamed up with Major League Baseball to bombard you with shitty ads while you’re trying to watch an All-Star game. And in order for baseball to properly promote this film, they of course had to seek out some MLB talent to record the commercials.
Now let’s see… an over-hyped movie featuring gerbils that will do big at the box office but will ultimately disappoint mostly everyone who went to see it. Which player would most closely match that description?
OOOOH, I KNOW! David Wright.
So that’s who they got. (Watch the full commercial HERE)
Now here’s the best part, looped for your enjoyment:
Last night on the Home Box Office, Phillies fan favorite Joe Buck debuted with his brand new talk show/sketch comedy show/clusterfuck, The Joe Buck Show. For the most part, the show seemed to lack a certain je ne sais quoi, but lodged somewhere in between Buck’s unfunny monologue and an obnoxiously uncomfortable segment with Artie Lange, the FOX play-by-play man managed to get an interview out of the 3rd basemen for the hated Metros, David Wright. As the pair were nestled in the corner of a quaint New York restaurant deep in boring conversation, a Phillies fan happened stroll past the eatery.
But instead of leaving the two alone as the cameras rolled, he chose to tap on the glass, expose his Phillies jersey, and point to the finger normally reserved for World Series Champion rings. Observe:
That’s just tremendous.
And judging by his awkward laugh, I’d imagine this sorta thing is a common occurrence in David’s life.
As if going to a David Cook concert wasn’t emasculating enough…
How cute! They dress alike and share make-up tips! Jose Reyes must be soo jealous right now.
(Seriously, who in their right mind roots for these guys?)
After the jump, same gay clip, different gay angle.
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