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May
12
2010
STFU Jeff Francoeur
Posted by at 9:11 am ET 78 Comments

Get ready to want to punch Jeff Francoeur in his face: New York Metropolitan Jeff Francoeur is a wittle upset that the Phillies are getting three extra home games this year.  Sayeth crybaby, “That’s just bullshit.  That’s really not fair. That’s just not fair.” … “It’s ridiculous … Absolutely crazy.”  HAHAHHAHAHAHAH [The 700 Level]

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  • Joe D

    The Mets will be much further than 3 games back when the season ends. Once Francoeur comes to and realizes that he won’t be so upset.

  • Lynniemac

    That would require him to have logic and reasoning skills, Joe D.

  • http://www.phonetrace.org Griswold

    francoeur is a silly little queer

  • GTO

    what a douche. We revenue share too.

    So what if we get a few more home games. What was MLB supposed to do?

    Suck it, Frenchy

  • Jeff Francoeur

    I SWALLOW

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    Bawhahahaha! Francoeur really stuck it to us with those comments. You know what else isn’t fair; hitting into a triple play by Eric Bruntlett to end the game. You have that on your record for the rest of your life, Jeff.

  • b-burg

  • Amandah

    Anyone ever notice how terribly ugly his face gets when he gets a) hit by a pitch or b) jumps into the wall to make a catch? It’s like his little faggot bones are so brittle and he looks like he’s gonna shit his lady panties everytime he does anything strenuous.

    What a sissy-boy.

    Regards,

    Amandah

  • Jupiter’s Rings

    Thanks, Meech! I’ve been mentally preparing to get ready to want to punch Francouer in his face. Now I’m one step closer!

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Come on guys, give him a break. It must be really frustrating with David Wright trying to tickle him all day. He was bound to snap sooner or later.

  • Nick B.

    WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    http://t4toby.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/whambulance.jpg

  • http://www.thefightins.com meech.one

    So, Amandah, are you saying you *wouldn’t* fuck him?

  • The Killer Zs

    MLB Network is calling the Mets “The Amazins.”

    Cause they’re so, like, amazing. At being suckish.

    What the heck does he care?

  • http://www.twitter.com/underthebridge1 Walklett

    The Mets are upset because “extra home games” usually means playoffs, and they have no idea what that feels like.

  • http://nerdcast.org dUb-iLL

    The Phillies are 10-6 both on the road and at home this year…. What does that mean? It means Jeff Francoeur is a little girl.

    Stats!

  • DP

    Shouldn’t Jeff be booking that off-season family fishing trip after the regular season ends?

  • Alex

    I appreciate Adam Eaton’s effort to make amends for his terrible on-field performance by commenting at the Fightins.

    I think with his comment above, he may have completely made up for it!

  • JaysonVooyrhees

    @Amandah notice how ugly his face is just by him existing? Horseface :B

  • 85

    “That’s just bullshit. That’s really not fair. That’s just not fair.” … “It’s ridiculous … Absolutely crazy.”

    - The Braves’ front office, upon realizing that Ryan Church was the most they could get for Frenchy’s formerly overrated ass.

  • Amandah

    Meech:

    No I *wouldn’t* fuck him. Only reason being is that he makes so many ugly faces that I can only imagine that his cum face must look hideously awful. Probably a cross between Willem Defoe getting root canal and Corky Thatcher getting his a-hole fingered. Mix those two together and it still isn’t uglier than Franqueer.

    Regards,

    Amandah

  • crazy4swayze

    i heard francoeur sucked delgado’s cock clean off of his body effectively ending his playing career and his ability to ever get blown again. confirm?

  • 85

    crazy4swayze – Meech will confirm that. Then retract his confirmation. Then re-confirm tomorrow.

  • Ed R.

    No offense guys but wouldn’t you be offended if it was the other way around and the Phillies had to play 84 road games?

    Frenchy does have a real point even if he is a massive douche.

  • kurt

    All those that sympathize with thou Mets and Jeff Francoeur shall be tar and feathered with the rest of the lot!

  • Ed R.

    I don’t sympathize with the Met’s, they can burn in hell for all I care, but again the guys point is valid. If the shoes were reversed and the Met’s had 3 more home games or the Phillies 3 less we would all be pissed.

    The difference is that the Phillies players wouldn’t bitch and moan about it to the public.

  • 85

    Ed R. – Point is, why complain out loud? Just go win your games. In your WILDEST dreams, could you imagine Chase Utley, or Roy Halladay, or Ryan Howard, or any of the Phillies boo-hooing through the media once the decision came down? Doubtful. As always, they’d say “We need to worry about us. If we do what we need to do, it won’t matter.” It’s a winner’s mindset, and the Mets would know nothing about that.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    “If the shoes were reversed”

    Not gonna lie, if the shoe were reversed, that would make for some painful walking!

  • Phan Stuck in nyc

    Ed R – Ok, I get your point. Let’s say the sich was reversed & the press asked Utley or Werth what they thought. I don’t think it’s far fetched to assume that Utley would shrug it off & Werth might say, “Uh, so we play there.” That’s about as much as you’ll ever get out of any of the WFC’s. But whining, bitching & actual crying – no. I can’t see it. Maybe Francoeur’s binky was in the washer that day.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    @85 Good call. Very good call. I really enjoy your insights.

  • Ed R.

    Well like I said, that is the difference here, the Phillies players wouldn’t say a word to the media about it…well Jimmy might, he likes to talk. But in this case he might wise up and just say nothing.

  • Morandini Turned Three

    @ Ed R. do you see everyone bitching because we have to play the Red Sox every year while the Nats get the pathetic Orioles, the Braves get whoever MLB feels like scheduling and the Marlins get the (until recently) awful Rays? They call it an unbalanced schedule for a reason. Suck it up and move on.

  • Morandini Turned Three

    As in “the Mets should suck it up and move on”. Not you, Ed.

  • Ed R.

    Does it matter who the Phillies play in Interleague? Look at their Interleague record, they do as well against the Sox as they do the A’s. They stink in interleague.

  • Ed R.

    I got ya Morandini. I figured that’s what you meant.

  • Morandini Turned Three

    Guess that’s true. At least we did well in October 08.

  • Ed R.

    Amen to October 08.

  • ricky

    The only thing baez has done this year that is worth noting: hitting this bitch with a 96 mph fastball…next time hit him in the face danys

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    Baez should be the enforcer. By that I mean he should enforce the “fives” rule on bullpen seating for other pitchers, and literally only enter the game when Jeff Francoeur needs a beanin’

  • Glenn

    Let’s all take off the rose-colored glasses for a second and remember that:

    1. He’s right. 3 extra home games is an unfair (if small) advantage that MLB handed the Phillies on a platter; and

    2. Resorting to suggestions of homosexuality as default insult is moronic.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    Whoa… who invited this Glenn character to post on the blog? He’s clearly not buying into our “culture” that has been created.

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Glenn, you’re missing the point. It’s not whether or not he’s right, it’s that he’s taking the very Metsian approach of bitching about it. Everyone knows it’s an advantage for the Phils, but what else were they supposed to do? Montreal is still a 6 or 7 hour drive from Toronto, so who’s to say if the game was moved there it’s any more of a homefield advantage for the Jays. They Jays will get to bat last and split the revenue. There’s not much of a better solution IMO.

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Oh and Glenn loves vagina. LOVES it. He is not gay at all.

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    I think a better solution would have been to play it at literally any other city in the country, but they said they tried that and couldn’t find a fit. Really I think the Jays, who will get the home team share, wanted the ticket revenue.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    @Jdashdog I have a blog crush on you. Is that gay?

  • Joe D

    How about the Phillies play an extra series at Citi Field to make Jeff happy? Utley can hit more balls out to right in that morgue.

  • Dikembe Mutombo

    As Phillies fans, we need to do the right thing and treat the series like it were in Toronto. We can drink terrible beer and a couple of thousand of us should cheer on the team that destroyed my childhood while everyone else still roots for the Fightins. Let’s show the rest of the country just how classy we are.

  • http://twitter.com/j_tee_r Jdashdog

    Adam, its’ OK, but remember – this is a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” kinda blog.

  • Watrick

    Whoa, it’s not a morgue out there, it’s called Utley’s Corner. Look it up on facebook, there’s a really cool group on there that I think the guy who runs it is awesome.

  • Joe D

    Watrick, by that morgue I was referring to Citi Field in general. The place is dark as hell.

  • Watrick

    @ Deek, I agree, except let’s do it this way. Anyone that can name the MVP of the ’93 Phillies is allowed to cheer for the Phils, otherwise, they have to cheer for the Jays.

  • Eric

    Who is a bigger bitch.. me or Francoeur? Discuss.

  • Glenn

    The fair solution would have been to play at a neutral site, of which there are plenty available on the weekend in question, including several that are at least “close” to Toronto (ie. Detroit or Cleveland).

    MLB chose Philly not because they couldn’t find a fit elsewhere, but because they knew if they played in Philly they’d sell the games out.

    Toronto has crappy attendance generally but actually sold tickets to this series because of Halladay’s return.

    Hence the decision to put $$ ahead of competitive fairness. For MLB, that’s a no-brainer.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    Holy shit… ERIC just called for open season. Is there a possibility that Eric is really actually Jeff?!

  • Eric

    Glenn – I don’t think anybody is going to argue these points with you. If it was Phillies-Rays (two teams that will compete), it would absolutely go to a neutral site. Both teams had a say in figuring out the ‘best’ solution. The Blue Jays need the money from this series, as it was likely going to draw some fans anyway.

    Trust me, you aren’t making any points that are Earth shattering here. What the fuck do you want US to do about it though? We are all well aware that this is an absolute gift and we’re thrilled about it. Stop trying to rain on our parade because we’re making fun of that dickhead Francoeur.

  • Eric

    Adam – I don’t like the bashing going from me to Jeff. I was feeling left out.

  • Glenn is Howard Eskin

    I EAT COCK

  • The Ghost of Tim McCarver

    The real secret to pitching is to throw the ball.

  • http://nerdcast.org dUb-iLL

    To be fair, I will be buying tickets to all 3 games just so i can cheer for the jays during their Philly homestand.

    So, if you are heading to the games, look for me and say hello. I’ll be the one guy cheering for the Jays.

  • scooby doo

    The decision to play in Philly was the choice of the Jays. They could have decided to play somewhere else in Canada or even another Stadium in the League but chose CBP as the obvious and only option to choose.

    MLB didn’t hand this to the Phillies… the Jays did! Yes, the Mets don’t stand a chance in the East and should just keep sucking and STFU.

  • crazy4swayze

    just so we’re clear, i wasn’t insinuating that francoeur is a homosexual…i would say he’s more bi-furious.

    but yeah, they def should’ve played the game where no one would have cared or attended.

  • http://tysonfrantz.com Tyson

    I hate you Jeff. There’s a box of tissues in the basement where you’re team is heading. Feel free to grab a handful and wipe away those tears.

    He probably won’t care too much about those 3 extra home games when the Mets are out of contention by August.

  • Morandini Turned Three

    Phillies fans travel, baby. A weekend series just before July 4th? Aside from Toronto, is doesn’t matter where this game is played; we’d have home field advantage.

  • Jesus Hitler Christ

    Jeff Francoeur is right, but he’s still a crybaby

  • chris

  • http://www.the701level.com Gil Thorpe

    AAAAAWWWWWWWWW JEFFY, you poor little guy. remember when you appeared on the cover of SI while it was still viable that you were going to be a good every day baseball player? That was a long while ago, bitchass. Who would’ve thought at the time that Fat Brian McCann would end up being so much fucking better than you?

  • Lynniemac

    Does anybody REALLY care what Toothy McGrimace has to say?

  • James Fayleez

    I love Amanda – my thoughts exactly on Francouer.

    When he hit the wall after making a catch and came up looking like someone just ripped out his inards and then made the same type of face when he got beaned…..

    I was doubled over with laughter.

  • Joe D

    God I love Cholly

    Why have the Phillies been accused of stealing signs? “Because we beat them,” Manuel said. “That’s why. Keep crying.”

  • Phils Phan

    Can a brotha get a sad trombone link! Amen!

  • Lynniemac

    I was about to say that someone should tell Toothy that we could have a situation where Brad Lidge would be pitching the bottom of the ninth at CBP, but since it’s just been reported that Lidge is flying back to Philly to have his elbow examined…

    …can Contreras close?

  • Joe D

    Lynnie….Contreras is throwing pure filth right now. Of course he can close. He also doesn’t appear to be a pussy so I don’t think we can expect Mad Dog meltdowns from him.

  • http://twitter.com/h_cliff_slocumb Heathcliff Slocumb

    What a dizzle dick. I’m totally not surprised that, of all people, this numbnut is the one whining.

    He’s still mad about being TP’d by The Beard. LOLMets.

  • the EFF THAT guy; special Frenchy edition

    EFF YOU and EFF THAT.

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    *is a major league ballplayer and a great reliever*

    *is called a pussy by noted Guy on the Internet Joe D*

  • Joe D

    @Phylan…go run one out to some bizarre sabermetric stat ok bud. I love Madson in any role except the 9th inning. And he is hurting this team right now, not only with his poor performance but also because he is on the DL for acting like a petulant child.

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    blurf blurf blurf go fuck yourself

  • Sophie

    Keep playin for the Braves Frankie, you’ll be in the Hall of Fame in NO time!

  • Jordan Darnell

    Ya”ll are so lame…Phillies fans I tell ya!

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