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Phillies Beat Indians Last Night, You Think
Posted by at 10:30 am ET 9 Comments

The Phillies beat the Indians at home last night 4-3, you think.

The Phillies, who were coming off of a big long west coast road trip, played their first game that fans saw in a long time last night. Most fans, having not really been willing to stay up past midnight for the past week, tuned in to see some young pitcher the team called up at some point to pretty good.

The starting pitcher for the Phils, some young white kid, did pretty good and pitched, like, at least six innings. This white kid, who you think came right from Double-A,  allowed a bunch of hits but no home runs, at least none that really mattered, you know?

Indians hitters, wait, it was Cleveland right? But they were just in Clev- Yeah, no, it was definitely Cleveland hitters that didn’t really do much offensively though so it’s hard to tell if the Phillies pitcher was really good or not. Cleveland is one of those teams that sucked for a long time but they’re kinda getting good now.

But pitching wasn’t the whole story last night, as the Phillies’ bats finally started to make some noise. Domonic Brown hit a solo shot in, like, the sixth, you think, after the Indians changed pitchers. Ryan Howard also hit a home run, too. Unless that was Mayberry. You don’t remember. It was definitely one of the tall, black guys. Someone also hit a triple but they didn’t score and actually that might have been a guy on the Indians.

Papelbon came on in the ninth to get the save. De Fratus, who you didn’t know wasn’t still hurt, was one of three relievers used in the 8th because Mike Adams wasn’t available. The status of Mike Adams is still uncertain, unless they announced something after the game because you missed postgame because your wife wanted to watch The Voice on the big TV downstairs.

The Phillies play the Indians again tonight, you assume because last night was the first game of the series. Because you haven’t seen him for a while, you think lefty Cole Hamels probably pitches for the Phillies tonight. He’s, like, 3-6 on the season. You have no fucking clue who starts for Cleveland tonight.

  • Ricky Herb

    Umm Kevin Frandsen isnt a tall black guy.

  • Lou

    4-3, 6-2…what’s the difference, right?

  • Kunk

    Excellent recap. Could have written it myself, I think.

  • Ben A

    tonight, today, it’s all good. game starts at 1245, I think.

    • ryan petzar

      Haha yeah that was totally a joke and not at all me actually not knowing it was a day game.

      • Ben A


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