The Fightins'
Sep
03
2010
Open Game Thread: 9/3 Phillies vs Brewers
Posted by at 6:10 pm ET 275 Comments

7:05PM on MyPHL17

PITCHING MATCHUP:

Cole Hamels (8-10) 3.31 ERA

PHILLIES: Cole Hamels finally got a fucking win in his last outing. He’ll get another one tonight by taking a dump on the chest of the Brew Crew. Graphic, but the only way his forthcoming dominance tonight can be explained. Ryan Braun might homer off him though. But, fuck it.

Chris Capuano 2-2 (5.06 ERA)

BREWERS: Uhm, this guy sucks pretty bad. Last time out he gave up 6 runs and didn’t get out of the 4th inning against the Pirates. That bad. I couldn’t think of a way to make fun of him since he does such a good job doing it himself. So there’s a picture of him going all “Michael Keaton in Multiplicity”. Enjoy.

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  • Jupiter’s Rings

    Boobs!

  • Bozo

    Indeed. Let’s hope BBBBHP isthere tonight.

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    I still believe Capuano will pitch 7+ innings tonight. Instincts I guess.

  • BBBBHP

    /lightly fondles nipples so they’re extra hard for the camera

  • kvo

    Couldn’t you have photoshopped Jill Hamels’ face onto the boobs’ face??

  • http://www.twitter.com/swift5648 Swift

    How isn’t that an E-7 on Ryan Braun?

  • Bill

    Im pretty sure they are saying Scott Barry sucks

  • daphne

    that rocked. i want spanish beisbol network all the time

  • H2O

    @ Swift

    His glove never touched the ball

  • Greg

    The spanish broadcast killed T-Mac’s.

  • http://www.twitter.com/swift5648 Swift

    @H2O that’s just sad.

  • KruksLeftNut

    Cleve

  • H2O

    @Swift

    Yeah. Cain really should’ve caught it in the first place

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Predicted a Hamels no-hitter on Twitter. Doing it here too

  • Greg

    6 Pitch inning for Cole…47 through 4. Not bad at all.

  • H2O

    Wow

  • Boobs

    Oops too bad

  • CTM

    That’s a shame right there. On the bright side, Marlins are Gammorahizing the Braves, so if we hang on, it could be a goooooooood night.

  • http://www.twitter.com/swift5648 Swift

    @CTM, good use of “Gammorah” in place of “Sodom”.

  • H2O

    This is what happens when Tom McCarthy mentions that Cole has a no-hitter through 3 innings

  • Adamr14

    I remember the last time the Braves were losing like this to the Marlins…

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Or when TID posts his tweet prediction here.

  • http://www.twitter.com/swift5648 Swift

    @Dubee Dubee Du, actually TID posted his prediction about two outs into the game on Twitter that Hamels would throw a no-no.

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    this is depressing to watch.

  • http://www.twitter.com/swift5648 Swift

    @K-Mart, at least they’re winning.

  • H2O

    @Dubee Dubee Du

    Right. I forgot about that

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    Hopefully they get their bats and show up for the game I’m watching tomorrow.

    See how unselfish I am?

  • will.H

    I Want To Be Selfish With I Went To K-Mart And Saw That Guy

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    5 Pitches to retire Placido, Howard, and Werth.

    Pitch, pitch, pitch, pitch, pitch. AND THATS THREE OUTS?

  • Phillies2010NLChamps

    HAHAHAHAHA! The Braves fucking suck. What’s wrong Bravos, getting scared that the Phillies are playing their usual September baseball?

    Can’t wait to go to Atlanta to sit in your field. ANYWHERE THE FUCK I WANT BECAUSE EVERY SEAT’S AVAILABLE. BWAHAHAHAHAA

  • Phillies2010NLChamps

    Braves are phucking phaggots

  • H2O

    Put the Spanish broadcasters back on TV. Phillies scored their only run when they were broadcasting

  • Werth’s Soul Patch

    How’s one lousy run, Cole? You good with that? THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL RUN SUPPORT!…geeesh…

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    At least this game beats finishing Charlie Dicken’s Great Expectations.

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    7 pitches, 4 outs.

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    And 13 pitches = 6 batters retired.

    I miss Bobby Abreu’s plate discipline…. but that’s about it.

  • FanSince09

    Hammel can’t even make it to the 8th, some “second ace.”

    Should of kept Cliff Lee.

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    Hammel pitches for the Rockies. wat u tawkin bout yo?

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Cliff’s last 5 starts:

    4.2 IP, 7 R
    5 IP, 5 R
    5.2 IP 8 R
    7.2 IP 6 R
    6.2 IP 4 R

    lrn2troll

  • CTM

    At least one more fucking run would be nice…

  • Cmon Dom!
  • Boobs

    Brown just got owned right there

  • FanSince09

    Why is everyone so high on Dominick Brown? Has he really showed enough to justify letting Jason Worth walk away in free agency? That’d be another huge Amaro blunder.

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    T-Mac looks like Eminem with that beanie.

  • Boobs

    ohhh FanSince09, you tickle me. I love people who don’t understand you.

  • KruksLeftNut

    Well maybe not the Cleveland Steamer Chris et al envisioned earlier, but I would say Cole definitely sharted and (in honor of Hispanic culture night) Contreras used it to apply a Dirty Sanchez so far. Let’s see if Maddog can come in and lift his leg on the Brew Crew for some shut out humiliation.

  • CTM

    OK, I’m willing to attribute that catastrofuck of offense to the quick turnaround of coming home from Denver. But Madson? Mess this up and I have a chair with your name on it.

  • FanSince09

    Madsen doesn’t have a closer mentality, why the hell is he in there

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    FanSince09 is good at what he does. Just don’t do it so much. It’s hard to appreciate it.

  • CTM

    Faaaaaaaaaantastic. Now hopefully the fish don’t keel over.

  • FanSince09

    Phan, I only post when that faget Coal Hammel pitches or when the best young pitcher in baseball, Mr. JA Happ shows why he’s the next Cliff Lee

  • ThinkRed

    Fuck the Braves.

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    Haha. Terrific.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Oh the beauty of the well rounded team. Capable of outslugging the Rockies in Coors or out pitching anybody else, anywhere else. With a month to go to get the timing at the plate down, it’s feeling winnerish.

  • Cole Hamels

    awhawwww yeah

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    I hope for Happ’s sake he doesn’t become the next Cliff Lee. Those numbers TID put up doesn’t look like something J.A. would want to replicate.

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    When was the last time the Phillies won on a blowout?

  • CTM

    Sit down, Heyward.

    1 game back. Fucking awesome.

  • ThinkRed

    @ K-Mart: the last time that chick from the Tilted Kilt hung out with the Phillies in Clearwater.

  • http://www.twitter.com/swift5648 Swift

    I love how the Braves Trolls are no where to be heard from tonight.

  • FUCK THE BRAVES

    fucking faggots are lucky they have 50 comeback wins

  • Matt Stairs

    So guyz, I heard that this Cole Hamels guy supposedly doesn’t know how to win ballgames.

    WIP said so, and their callers are so smart!

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    @K-Mart- Opening day @ Wash 11-1
    May 1 Home vs. NYM 10-0
    May 17 Home vs. Pitt 12-2
    June 24 Home vs. Cleve 12-3
    June 25 CBP @ Toronto 9-0
    June 27 CBP @ Toronto 11-2
    July 3 @ Pitt 12-4
    July 24 Home vs. Colo 10-2
    Aug. 17, 18, & 22 all wins by 6 runs
    Aug. 29 last win by 5 runs
    They have won 23 games by 5 or more runs all season. 55 by less than 4 runs, 23 by 1 run

  • Tamuel

    Could the girl in the ad behind Cole Hamels possibly be BBBHP?

  • BravesSuckMooseBalls

    HAHAHAHAHA! braves suck fucking dirty hairy penis

    bobby cox sucks big dicks

  • Tamuel

    BravesSuckMooseBalls and Phils2010NLChamps are the best comments ever.

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    I thought my question was more in the rhetorical side.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Dan Plesac just gave Ed Wade a big slobbering attaboy on MLBTV Fawning over how the Astros have improved their record by 6 games since mid May. Made me say “so fucking what?”
    So Ilooked it up and actually since the last week in July they improved by 10 games, so OK that’s impressive but I wouldn’t give Ed Wade much credit for that, more the players performing over their heads. Now if they want to give Wade credit for helping the Phillies, I’ll buy that.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    K-Mart You didn’t use the rhetoricak font so who would know?

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    You didn’t use the rhetorical font either

  • that guy

    WHERE ARE THE TROLLS? 1 GAME BACK AND DNT SEE THEM NO WHERE! and as for fansince09, shut the fuck up please you sound stupider then a retard trying to say his abc’s

  • Bozo

    Great win but I’m slightly dissapointed that BBBBHP wasn’t there. Make it up with some cleavage tomorrow baby.

  • that guy

    who is BBBBHP?

  • Bobby Cox

    Fuck me. I’m gonna go beat my wife to relieve some stress.

  • Skippy

    just saw this stat……woohoo

    6 active pitchers have a career ERA of 2.76 or lower in September (min. 20 starts). 3 play for the Phillies (Hamels, Halladay, Oswalt).

  • Greg

    BBBBHP = Big Breasted Broad Behind Home Plate I think.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    If you saw her you would know who she was

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Skippy that is a great stat.

  • John Matrix

    Cole hamels and pen: a+
    offense D-

  • Greg

    @that guy:
    FanSince09 is just joking around. Don’t take him seriously.

  • Bozo

    Big Breasted Brunnete Behind Home Plate

    And yes, if you see her you will probably know who it is

  • Average WIP Caller

    Day’s To-Do List

    1) Criticize McNabb [x]
    2) Criticize Hamels [x]
    3) Sell T-Shirts at 17th and Market [ ]

  • Shamels Raul Wertiz

    Anyone else hear Wheels almost go into another rant about people talking loudly on cellphones? He stopped himself. Oh how I wish he would have continued, because thats the stuff I really want to hear while Im trying to watch baseball!! OOOhhh Wheelzie.

    P.S. This thread was uber weak tonight.

  • Bozo

    Giants lose 4-2. Rockies going into the bottom of the 9th leading 4-3 vs San Diego

  • Greenman!

    Tony you bitched all about having Cliff Lee earlier in the season, jus sayin

  • Brian

    @FanSince09

    Do you think Holliday is having a positive influence on Hammel?

  • TonyIsDynamic

    When he threw 5 straight complete guys, “just sayin”

  • Brian

    Hammel just seems to be turning back into the dominate player we saw from 2008.

  • dougie

    This site used to be pretty cool, shame it fucking fell apart to this shambles.

  • dougie

    For example, see Brian above me. Who the flying nun fuck is “Hammel”? Answer, Philly and Jersey fucks. Goddamn you fucking shits. Fuck you. Fuck you. You. Fuck you.

  • Greg

    Dougie, in case you haven’t been around lately, FanSince09 and Brian are just joking around. They know it’s Hamels.

  • Greg

    Actually, Brian fucking fails. FanSince09 is funny, but Brian is ruining it.

  • Phils Phan

    BBBBHP.

    Which is also how you spell the sound you would hear when I motorboat those massive titties.

    That is all.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    http://twitter.com/BravesOverPhils

    Is this guy MooseBalls? Because he sounds like an absolute douchebag POS.

  • Jupiter’s Rings

    FanSince09 has been a fan since 2009. It’s a schtick. It’s funny. Get it?

    I keep hitting this horse, but I’m not sure if it’s dead or not.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    The thing with it is, you don’t wear it out too much.

    Cole Hamels pitching 7 innings and not giving up any runs isn’t a good time to burn out a good FanSince09 post. I’m sure even a “fan since 09″ would appriciate Cole’s start tonight.

    It’s all about timing. And if the horse wasn’t dead, I sure killed it!

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Define “AWESOME”: Last minute free tix bring me to a Phils game wherein – despite an abysmal RISP% – King Cole wins a 1-0 Shutout & the Phils close to within one game of the Division Lead, a desire to celebrate leads to a spur-of-the-moment stop for drinks at Delilahs, which in turn leads to a lap dance/free Champagne Room/Digits from a girl I went to highschool with. Good night, fellas. Good night.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Ahh the old giving of the digit in the champaigne room, goodtimes,goodtimes.

    Chutley you should get onto Wikipedia and post your definition of AWESOME.

    Either that or submit it to the How I Met your Mother TV show

  • Bud

    Looks like dougie and Chutley’s IBMS had exact opposite friday nights.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Hey Bud you don’t think that dougie’s girl and Chutley’s stripper are one and the same do you?

  • Bud

    It would explain the anger after a great win/braves loss
    All my girlfriends work at club risque – big shout out to Kat from texas. Dat ASS!
    I asked her what she thought of some other dancer who had a bunch of tats, her reply was “you don’t put bumper stickers on a Porsche”

  • Tamuel

    Tony, he whines about the bar changing from the Phillies game to an Eagles-Giants preseason game. I’m pretty sure the Eagles would never play the Giants in the preseason?

  • tofoomeister

    @82: I love that one older guy with the distinct baritone – he kind of sounds like Chef from South Park.
    THE EAGLES … ARE PLAYING … LIKE SHIT. FIVE DOLLARS.

    @fansince09: I think you’re funny. Guess Hamels is a touchy subject for some.

  • will.H

    82, i love it. I love it because I hate it. And by hate i mean the average WIP callers. Once in a while i find myself navigating the radio waves and stubble on some fake fantasty hero whining about mcnabb, hamels or howard strik’n outtt yo. These are the same fakes who used to whale “da phils dunt spend enuf monies!!” now they cry, “dey raised my prices agaiiin angelooooo.”

    I dont even know how to form a rational opinion. I just feel violent every time i hear that standard 40-some year old style WIP caller with awful advice and the secret to winning. Probably the same dad at the batting cages who yells at his kid “elboww up son, ELBOW UP!!” stfu assholes.

  • Eric

    It’s game like this that convince me many people don’t even watch or listen to the games. It’s not like our offense didn’t show up tonight. We had plenty of runners early, but if you don’t get a timely base hit, the run total will be low. Capuano was horrible on the mound, but got Chooch to line into a double play. If that ball is 16 inches in either direction it’s a 2 run single and the rally is on. After that inning, the Brewers brought out two guys I’ve barely heard of, but both had a 2.8 ERA and pitched accordingly. I know it’s cheesey to say ITS THE YEAR OF THE PITCHER! but damnit, every team has arms that are untouchable this year. Would it be nice to put up 10 runs every game? Sure, but it’s about time to realize that’s not going to happen. Maybe instead of shitting on our lineup, you could point out how brilliant Amaro was to realize the changing dynamic of the NL and to pick up Oswalt.

    Oh, and I was at the game last night. Love well pitched games, but damn are they boring to sit through.

  • Bobby D

    Just reading a Braves blog, came across this little nugget of fried gold in the comments section:

    “Wild Card
    The Phillies are really playing well, and we suck on the road. It might be time to start paying attention to the Giants games. We’ve pitched well this season, but other than Hudson our starting pitching has been Jeckle and Hyde recent

  • Eric

    Roy v. the Brewers.

    Josh Johnson v. the Braves.

    Just sayin’ Philadelphia.

  • will.H

    eric the ironic shit is.. the only game we’ve lost in a week was halladays start in LA. go figure

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Dubes-

    Not a bad idea, but I think it’d be more likely to go unedited on Urban Dictionary or something.

    While HIMYM IS awesome, it’d be surprising were the show to end with, “And that’s how we met, kids. I was drunkenly getting dry-humped through jeans and a Phils Jersey while your whore of a mom poured overpriced bad champagne down my throat by way of her titties… and hey, the Braves lost!”

    Now if there were a show called, “How Cole Hamels Got Me Some Stink on My Hang-Down”….

    wait, that didn’t come out right….

    “How I Met Your this Chick in Highschool then Didn’t See Her for 10 Years then Played with her Boobies and then the Phils Won the World Series”

    Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  • Undocorkscrew

    After tonight the Braves and Phillies will be tied in the standings. Not too worried, as we never beat the Fish on the road. Kind of seen this coming for the past week or so.

    You guys just better hope you’re up 1 or 2 games before the final series of the season. But as long as the Braves make the playoffs, I can’t complain. Not expecting a world championship(nor do I ever), but this team is looking like it’s going to be sticking around for a while.

    Can’t wait until Sept 27th-Oct 3rd

  • Undocorkscrew

    ….and btw, I’m pretty sure there is just one Braves troll on this site. He may be using multiple usernames, but it’s the same guy. Stop making it plural.

  • I am Howard’s lack of plate discipline

    109 comments for an in-game thread?!?! Hahahahahahhahahaha. And you tools are on about the Braves attendance? Talking Chop averages well over 1,000 posts a game. We play it smart. Instead of going to games, we save money by discussing it at home while the game’s on instead of blowing hundreds of dollars.

    And stay classy, Philly………hope all those enormous contracts work out going forward.

  • Milksteak

    So you’re saying Atlanta assholes stay at home and play on their computers on Friday nights and WE should be embarrassed? Got it.

    Fuck you and fuck Scott Barry.

  • will.H

    112, your stadium suggests otherwise. 16,000, 18,000.. arguing with you is like racing a retard.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    I’ll take the Bank’s Attendance Numbers (108 consecutive sellouts and counting) over Talking Chop’s nightly Thousand posts of “Prado’s the best 2nd baseman EVUH!” and “I want the HEY-TRAIN in my coal tunnel!”

  • The Big Brainiacs of Atlanta

    We play it smart. Instead of going to games, we save money by discussing it at home while the game’s on instead of blowing hundreds of dollars.

    So where does the revenue come from to sign high dollar talent? This staying at home blogging and discussing is an interesting business plan, tell us more…

  • Cole Hamels Diary

    “Friday, September the Third, 2010-

    Dear Diary,

    Had a good game earlier tonight, little tired to write much. Offense didn’t seem to offer a lot of support. The Fightins hasn’t even bothered to post a game recap, probably won’t get to one for a couple days. Can’t seem to find the love anywhere. Need a hug, will look for Sweeney first thing in the clubhouse tomorrow.

    -Coley”

  • Bobby D

    Yep, yep, yep. I wasn’t posting here last night because I took my girlfriend to the ball game. You wouldn’t know anything about that though, ya dick. Many people don’t sit in front of a computer on Friday night of Labor Day weekend.

  • Bozo

    I find it funny how Undo is like “you better hope you are up 1 or 2 games” when the Braves haven’t faced the entire Phillies team all year.

    1st and 2nd Phillies and Braves series- J-Roll out in both, Polanco misses some time cause Tim Hudson is a piece of shit

    3rd Phillies and Braves series- J-Roll out again

    4th Phillies and Braves series- Chooch with a concussion, Polanco out because Tim Hudson is a piece of shit, Utley out cause of thumb

  • Undocorkscrew

    @Bozo….

    Yeah, you’re team is fully healthy. The offense is scaring me to death. 1 run against Chris Capuano, mate. The offense still isn’t clicking, despite being fully healthy. The pitching is carrying this team and you know it.

    Also, the Braves have the best home record in baseball. I don’t see them losing the last series of the season, regardless of if it’s Halladay, Oswalt, Hamels pitching. Doesn’t matter. So yeah, just hope they’re up before the series starts.

    This injury excuse is getting old, mate. The offense wasn’t clicking before the injuries and it’s not clicking afterwards.

  • Bozo

    There’s more to having a fully healthy team than just offense. Defense is just as important… oh wait, that’s something you and the Braves probably don’t know about.

  • Bobby D

    @ undocorkscrew

    1 run against Andrew Miller, mate.

  • Bozo

    And didn’t Kawakami have the only RBI? Good point dude.

  • Mike P

    @Undo

    I’ve seen the Braves’ home/away splits, but if they’re counting on taking 2 of 3 from the Phils with Doc, Oswalt, and Hamels taking the hill in the final weekend, they’d better be saying their prayers and preparing for disappointment. The Braves one saving grace in that series is that there’s a very good chance they’ll get to face either Kendrick or Blanton. That awful outing in Colorado aside (in all fairness, none of the pitchers on either team looked good in that game, even relatively reliable pitchers like Durbin), though, Blanton has been very, very good in the 2nd half.

    I said a few months ago that if the Braves could hold a 4-game lead into the start of September, the Phils would be in a tough spot. Well, the lead is down to 1, Chase and Howard look like they’re getting their swings back, and I think the Braves are in deep trouble. With so many head-to-head games in the final 2 weeks of the season, anything can happen, but as a Phillies fan, I’m very upbeat about the Phils’ chances of putting together another September run and coming back to take the division.

  • Keegan

    With our records the way they are, even if we overtake the lead in the East, we’re still probably playing Braves in the NLDS because they’ll take the wild card right?

    Now, we’ve played the wild card the last three years in the NLDS but i didn’t know again if that was records and just a coincidence or if that was just what the East did every time while the West played the Central.

    Someone clarify?

  • Adamr14

    You cant play someone in your division in the divisional series

  • will.H

    wait, the offense isn’t clicking? That’s good news.. being 1 game out of first with a faulty offense. I bet their dicks turtle when the braves fans watch the phils offense “click.”

  • Milksteak

    @ will: they don’t turtle, they become full on vaginas

  • Mac Aoidh

    112:

    “A Milwaukee miscommunication led to the game’s only run. Center fielder Lorenzo Cain and left fielder Ryan Braun converged on a Shane Victorino fly ball, but it dropped between them for a double… ‘It was a tough situation,’ Cain said, ‘Loud crowd…’”

    Same situation in Atlanta, the ball is caught. Why? Cause their “crowd” are all at home, posting on Talking Chop. Dopes.

  • Bobby D

    Inverted turtle Braves Vagina.

  • rags to riches

    cliff lee….likely to miss next start….where are all my mofo cliff lee lovers at?

  • Bozo

    I hope BBBBHP is at the game tonight and showing some skin. It’s been a while.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Ubaldo lost, Wainwright in line for the loss…

    Roy Halladay CAN NOT pick up a game on these guys after 3 straight weeks? He ties them tonight.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Mike Sweeney is about to be on Pre-Game live if you like Man-Hugs and non-threatening Christianity.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Okay, so evidently if Kendrick doesn’t suck down the stretch, we’ve got locker-mate Sweeney to thank for jedi-mind-tricking him into being a winner.

  • will.H

    tony isn’t it crazy.. ubaldo had 15 wins by the all star break. 2 since?

  • J

    My god. Everytime I hear Mike Sweeney speak, I love him even more. I sat there watching him just in awe on PGL. The dude has to be the greatest man who has ever lived.

    And I really like that he’s been speaking to KK. Hopefully his words can influence KK and help him pitch better down this final stretch.

  • Bozo

    I can’t tell if thats BBBBHP… I think it is but what an ugly haircut

  • Nick

    This is a preview for the 2010 NLCS matchup baby

  • The Amish Terrapin

    let’s go!

  • Nick

    Projected playoff bracket if season ended today:

    Reds vs. Phillies
    Braves vs. Padres

    Yankees vs. Rangers
    Rays vs. Twins

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    All this talk of peaks and valleys makes me want to a ride over BBBBHP’s peaks and into her valley.

  • Bozo

    Pretty sure it’s BBBBHP, but she is in a lower seat and her titties are not visible! Need her to stand up

  • Mike P

    New hitting strategy for tonight: Hit fly balls.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Wow… so it’s like THAT, is it wind?!

  • Boobs

    Nice pitch Halladay

  • Jesus Hitler Christ

    Halladay doing his Kendrick impression tonight

  • Phils Phan

    Halladay is laboring. Not a very good omen.

  • Mike P

    You can’t blame him for the first homer. The second one, of course, was a bad pitch.

  • Boobs

    fastballs down the middle = kaboom

    If only the Phils understood that equation

  • Phils Phan

    I remember visiting the Dodge Charger monument at Valley Forge. … ?

    Fuck you Dodge. Your cars are shit, your commercials are shit. Al fucking Bundy drove a Dodge. That’s all anyone needs to know.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Wow, Phils Phan Phail.

    That commercial is THE shit.

    I may just be biased… seeing Brits run down by HEMIs is like Chicken Soup for my Tightly-Wound Phils Phan Soul.

  • http://twitter.com/MPenn35 Matt

    Al Bundy is a god. Do not talk shit on The Bundy.

  • Mike P

    KA-BOOM!!!!

  • Boobs

    yikes way outta here

  • Ryan Howard

    Fuck you, Prince. You may hit a few more, but you’ll die of heart disease sooner.

  • Mike P

    Ryan Howard doesn’t need a Dodge. He mows down the Lobsterbacks with rocketship line drive home runs.

  • Bozo

    BACK TO BACK

  • Phils Phan

    Dodge vehicles are cheap pieces of metal with shitty plastic interiors. Not going to change my mind there.

    That and if you watch Top Gear, you realize how shitty, apart from the ‘vette ZR1, American muscle cars are. 400HP means jack shit if the over or understeer puts you into a tree. And don’t get me started on traction control.

    Way to go, Jayson.

  • Danny Ozark

    Fuckin sweet

  • Mike P

    I was at a game in Milwaukee last month when Dave Bush gave up 4 home runs in a row. Back-to-back-to-back-to-back. Go get ‘em, Raul.

  • phillygirl

    I drive a Honda, but I love that Dodge commercial. Also love the 2 HRs we just got.

  • Phils Phan

    Correction: MODERN muscle cars. I do love old power.

    Back to baseball.

  • Mike P

    Oof. I went to a baseball game and a home run derby broke out.

  • Boobs

    Halladay must be on smack right now, wtf kind of shit is that. That was no cheapy/

  • Jesus Hitler Christ

    Wind my ass, those pitches by Halladay were fuckin awful

  • Boobs

    Hey, Halladay, here’s a gameplan, throw some off speed pitches when you get 2 strikes on a guy.

  • Phils Phan

    I feel like Brett Myers is pitching again.

  • Sean

    Prince Fielder “sliding” in at second looked like a blimp landing.

  • Phils Phan

    ^^^

    Get this, Charlie; get this, Charlie! It’s fire… and it’s crashing! It’s crashing terrible! Oh, my! Get out of the way, please! It’s burning and bursting into flames and the… and it’s falling on the mooring mast. And all the folks agree that this is terrible; this is the one of the worst catastrophes in the world. [indecipherable] its flames… Crashing, oh! Four- or five-hundred feet into the sky and it… it’s a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. It’s smoke, and it’s in flames now; and the frame is crashing to the ground, not quite to the mooring mast. Oh, the humanity!

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Phan @163-

    Haha, you just saved yourself, brother. I had a whole diatribe locked and loaded with replete with words like “Shitty Rice Burners,” “Shelby,” “Dukes of Hazzard” & I even came close to calling you “2 Fast 2 Faggish” before I realized that on the internet, no one can hear my sarcasm.

    I still love the new Charger & Chevy’s new Camaro, though. Can’t help it.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    And while I was typing that, you quoted the legendary Hindenburg radio broadcast… well done, sir.

  • Phils Phan

    I do what I can to keep it classy.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    and speaking of classy-

    That balls girl has got some ass on her.

  • Phils Phan

    Is BBBBHP now blonde? Or did she give her tickets to an equally busty friend?

  • Greenman!

    shes a blond now

  • Danny Ozark

    Well done Phan, well done

  • Bozo

    No, BBBBHP is there. Give the blonde another nickname!

  • Phils Phan

    “You’re very busty, your breasts are very large, but we wanna go weird with it, we wanna get really freakish.” – Dennis Reynolds

  • phillygirl

    those looked like strikes to me

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Bozo-

    BBBBBHP??

  • Bozo

    Actually I don’t think that is BBBBHP

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    No, I’m saying nickname for the blonde… BBBBB(5)HP….

    Big Breasted Blonde Babe Behind Home Plate.

  • Moose

    Fielder and Sabathia should have a Sumo match for charity

  • daphne

    t-mac said something about fielder being ‘durable’ and i heard it as ‘adorable’

  • Bozo

    No I meant that I don’t think it’s BBBBHP. I’m not sure

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    I had a “Rocky Mountain Slam” once… cost me 75 bucks.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Bozo –

    I know. Hence the different nickname.

  • phillygirl

    I wish I were as distracted by this BBBBHP as you guys, but I’m a girl. Instead I’m hating on the umpire for calling strikes for the Brewers and not for Halladay. Not nearly as much fun.

  • Phils Phan

    That and Howard runs like he has shit in his pants.

  • Brian

    Holy shit! Wheels graduated college in 1945? How is that possible???

  • phillygirl

    @brian they were kidding

  • Boobs

    Another shitty pitch by Halladay, jesus

  • Phils Phan

    Brett Myers strikes again.

  • Boobs

    Another shitty pitch by Halladay

  • phillygirl

    alright i’m just gonna go get drunk now

  • Boobs

    DUPE POST NOOOO

  • Milt Thompson

    I don’t even need to say it.

  • Phils Phan

    Can’t win them all but sure as shit want to. Fuck the Brewers.

  • Jesus Hitler Christ

    Halladay, oh my god, those were terrible pitches and deserved to be nailed.

  • Greenman!

    it’s milt thompson night at the park

  • Phils Phan

    Big Piece.

    Paul Hoover.

    Whippin’ hits.

    Hallelujah.

  • phillygirl

    Choochie! Chooch Chooch

  • Phils Phan

    Greg Dobbs’ greatest worth: acting like he actually might take an AB.

  • Greenman!

    Valdez should always just bunt, no double plays that way hopefully

  • phillygirl

    Aw so sweet that the brewer’s pitcher’s mom is there, makes rooting against him feel a little bad!

  • Phils Phan

    Must be a woman thing.

    I want her to have a “I’m not mad, just very disappointed” moment.

  • phillygirl

    ok he got an out, now i have no more sympathy.

  • Moose

    Rollins isn’t good

  • phillygirl

    WOOOOOOOOOO

  • Phils Phan

    Well shit. A 2-run sacrifice fly. Now I’ve seen it all.

    And there’s my “I’m not mad, just very disappointed” moment.

  • phillygirl

    @Phils Phan – you’re right, plus I think she’d be happy even if he’d done worse since she’s his mom

  • Bozo

    Great job by Valdez

  • ColesDomMom

    Why don’t they hit and run like that when Cole’s on the mound?

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    Howards at bat looked epic on MLB Gameday

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    PPII-Howard’s at bat was something impressive. Gives me even more hope that his Sept. is going to be sweet.

  • Adamr14

    Fuck Rickie Weeks

  • TiqIQ

    LOOK AT THEM FAT LUSCIOUS TITTIES!!!!! GIMME THEM TITS IN MY MOUTH!!!

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    It was just that his AB saw as many pitches as the team would normally see in about 3-4 ABs late in the game. I hate giving late relievers quick outings.

  • Greenman!

    TiqIQ watch your language! this is a family site!

  • Phils Phan

    Now that’s funny.

  • Dubee Dubee Du

    Chutley $75 for a Rocky Mountain Slam?

    I’m shocked at your behavior.

    You can’t do that shit man.

    $65 tops.

    Any more is throwing good money away.

  • Greenman!

    ll the double fingers are back

  • John Matrix

    That guy looks like a Nazi

  • Howard Eskin

    Ricky Weeks is a criminal

  • John Matrix

    Fuck yeah lidge

  • Phils Phan

    Whew. Good, good win. And Halladay actually gets the W. I suppose that’s a prize for all the times the Phillies shit the bed on him.

  • phillygirl

    Yeah Lidger

  • John Matrix

    I’d bang that chick in the southwest commercial

  • John Matrix

    It looked like chooch and valdez could have broke their ankles on those slides

  • will.H

    “Fielder and Sabathia should have a Sumo match for charity”
    —–

    Heeey, who ate my charity?

  • blackinmind

    why are these people with the phills shirt so sad?
    http://philadelphia.phillies.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=11714043

  • will.H

    blackinmind, im pretty sure they were the pitchers parents (local boy). mom was already crying when it was 3-0 on valdez.

  • will.H

    i didnt have sound where i was though, but thats my guess

  • blackinmind

    @will.h, oh really, that sucks for him to beat by your hometown team.

  • Phils Phan

    See comments 206-208.

  • FanSinceEveryoneElseIs

    I was just glad I was on tv tonight!!

  • Eric

    Funniest thing I heard at the ballpark this year was an old black man plead for the Phillies to replace Dobbs with a scarecrow, because at least the scarecrow will scare away the birds sometimes.

    Tonight, Greg Dobbs stood around and forced the Brewers to make a change. He essentially played the role of scarecrow to perfection. Way to go, Greg.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    @Dubes 222:

    Yeah, but I think it was due to my drunkenness & that thin air.

    Plus she introduced herself as “Mrs. Helton” and I couldn’t resist.

  • will.H

    chutley i’ve met mr helton, todds father. awesome fella, he used to come watch our practices.

    eric, i love that black man.

  • Chutley’s Impressed by Mac’s Speed

    Will, I actually don’t hate Todd either. He’s a hard-nosed player and seems a decent sort.

    He just killed us for a long time is all, so when I needed a player’s wife, he’s the first name that popped in my head.

    So for the sake of the joke, I popped in my head… right into her wajizzle.

  • Greenman!

    Helton would be ok if he didn’t have that stupid mullet, or is that Tulo?

  • Jared Allen

    What the hell is your problem with mullets?

  • I went to K-Mart and saw that guy

    I just bought the cutest Polanco shirsey evahhhh!!!

  • Mike P

    It sure looks like Milt Thompson is working his magic in the Giants dugout today. 3 solo homers in 2 innings to get them back into the game, down 4 to 3 to the Dodgers in the 8th.

  • Mike P

    I should have added that Burrell hit the 3rd homer. Bah.

  • Roni Deutch

    Hi, I’m Roni DEUTCH.

    Do you owe BACK taxes? Does the IRS want your MONEY? Well YOU can CALL ME.

    I also OFFER lessons on PROPER SPEECH. You may KNOW my most FAMOUS client, Gary MATthews.

  • Aubrey Huff

    Jesus, there’s Burrell’s dick. Again.

  • Lou Holtz

    Hey guysh, ishn’t it great to have shome great colleshe shootball to watsh again? Gee I jush love it when theesh kidsh get to play thish great game! And how fun ish it to have E-esh-P-N devote forty-sheven hoursh of covereshe to the firsht Shaturday of gamsh?

    By the way, whoosh Clish Lee?

  • Bozo

    Time for Kuo to screw the Phillies again and blow the game?

  • Bozo

    Or Broxton, whoever.

  • Bozo

    There’s the tying run on base. 1 out.

  • Bozo

    There’s a home run

  • Bozo

    I’m not happy that I was right but I’m not surprised in the least bit

  • Jonathan Broxton

    I suck.

  • Mike P

    Fucking Broxton.

  • Lou Holtz

    Scully: “You-ree-bay let it fly.”

  • Mike P

    Man or machine? I’m guessing machine.

  • Eric

    Can’t really ever say Fuck Broxton. He’s a very strong reason we’ve made it to 2 world serieseses. Dude is just a disaster a lot.

    Go Phillies.

  • Bozo

    I don’t think a single fastball has hit 100 or 99 from the ones I’ve scrolled over on gameday. 97-100+ to 94-98 is pretty signifigant.

  • Mike P

    @ Eric

    Well, I can’t argue with that logic. Nice story about the scarecrow, btw.

  • Bozo

    Oh well, time to feel dirty by rooting for a Dodger’s walk off against Brian Wilson

  • Bozo

    Tying run on base, didn’t take long

  • Mike P

    Oh boy! Here comes Barajas! C’mon Roddy, just pretend the Dodgers are wearing red pinstripes…

  • Bozo

    BARAJAS TIME

  • Mike P

    Oops, I meant the Giants.

  • Bozo

    First pitch out, asshole

  • PhillyPhanInIthaca

    Do we REALLY worry about SF? I’m looking at it this way:

    No way Reds give up NL Central. They win that.
    NL West is three team race and I think the team in first has the smallest chance of winning it.
    Rockies are surging and Giants would be 2 GB of SD after this.

    So say Giants take over the West sometime soon and force COL and STL to fight for the WC (while SD still slides)…

    The Cards are sliding to .500 Phillies-in-July style, and Colorado will get aprox. 4 RBIs/gm from CarGo, making it a fight between Colorado and the 2nd place team in the NL East, and perhaps SD if they decide they still want a spot in October that they were handed over a month ago.

    So take your pick from PHI/COL/SD or ATL/COL/SD.

  • The Amish Terrapin

    is there a bigger ***** and bigger POS in all of baseball than Broxton??? what a ****ing woman he is.

    nice job Joe, you ****ing idiot. YAY let’s let Kuo set up tonight and then let that fatass blow another game. **** me

    MLB needs to step in and suspend that corpse managing the Dodgers. he obviously doesnt care about winning anymore. god damn I hate him even more now

    only the corpse could have a guy be 4-4 in saves since being given the role, giving up just 1 hit in that time (in closing situations) and then decide, ahhh, screw it, lets just let that guy set up tonight and put a washed up fatass former closer in there.

  • The Amish Terrapin

    and of course Blake singled to lead off and he didnt even pinch run for him.

    this is some blatant throwing of a game if I’ve ever seen it.

    I am disgusted by this

  • The Mennonite Turtle

    Tell us how you really feel.

  • Mike P

    @Ithaca

    I think you’re right that the team we’re worried about comes from the West, but I’m not all that convinced that the Giants will overtake the Padres. Lincecum has been struggling, and while the Giants are 2 behind the Padres, they’re only .500 since the start of August. I think the Padres will get it back together and retain the division lead.

    Don’t get me wrong. The Rox or Cards could both make a run, but right now, they’re both 6.5 back and the Giants are in a better position to challenge the Phils (or, for that matter, the Braves).

  • The Jewish Tortoise

    Oy, what a comeback this Philadelphia team is achieving! I felt I needed to get all verklempt about missing the postseason, but I was mistaken!

    Oh and I was at the Modell’s, and I spotted a veeeery nice Oswalt shirsey, but it was too much money for my Jewish blood, so I spoke to an associate, and I us’d him down five dollars. Shalom!

  • spacecoyote

    Kinda weak.

  • Greenman!

    ah my sciatic nerve is acting up again avi!

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