Lenny Dykstra was in court yesterday for something that I don’t quite understand involving an accounting firm that claimed was owed upwards of $138,000 from the former All-Star centerfielder. That’s obviously not what’s important here.

Before, during, and after the proceedings, Nails was a non-stop supply of entertaining quotes. Here’s a sampling (via NBC10):

When questioned about the allegations from Halcyon Jets that he bounced a $7,000 check earlier this month, sayeth The Dude:

“That’s my fuckin’ ashtray money, bro, I don’t even know if I flew on their plane.”

Assuming a member of the NY Post didn’t necessarily believe that Lenny was a rich man, he reiterated:

“See that purple label, bro? (pointing to the inside of his suit jacket) That’s seven large”

And what about his half-crazy antics and demeanor?

“I like to pretend I got hit by a lot of pitches.”

He also lamented the sight of a hunched-over elderly woman crossing the street.

“See that? I’m going to be walking like that. I crashed into too many walls.”

Finally, here’s what he said about the company suing him, DDK & Co.:

“They folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth. There was no case. There was nothing.”

Never change, Leonard. Never change.

Lenny Dykstra – Classy After All These Years | NBC10
Ex-Met Lenny Dykstra settles bill with accountants, then runs mouth | NY Daily News
LENNY GETS A WALK | NY Post