The Fightins'
Jayson Werth knows how to spice up the Home Run Derby
Posted by at 9:00 am ET 27 Comments

Jayson Werth

Does the Home Run Derby bore the shit out of you? Well you aren’t the only one, you have plenty of company including Jayson Werth. Unlike you though, Jayson has an idea of how to spice up said event. Add some cash!

“I don’t know what those guys get if they win,” Werth told Rumblings.
“But I think they should get a bag of cash.”

Wait. A bag of cash? Like what, a shopping bag? Full of $20 bills?

“No, of hundreds,” Werth said. “I’m talking about a sack full. Maybe a
little leprechaun could carry it out there and throw it at your feet
if you win. Then you’d hop in the back of a big Brinks truck and ride
away. That would be awesome.”

Artist rendition of these changes ATJ…

Gimme da Cash

Jayson Stark l Werth Their While

  • HummerX

    “Maybe a little leprechaun could carry it out there and throw it at your feet
    if you win.”

    Sweet. Fucking. Christ.

  • Drew P

    or a hot little chick leprechaun…naked

  • Lindsay

    bwaaaha. Christ on a pogo stick. I love this site.

  • HummerX

    I personally vote for the ‘get everyone drunk before the second round’ option

  • Drew P

    Should the pitchers get drunk too?

  • 85

    HummerX: I like your idea. If you’ve ever played the home run derby drinking game, you know it can get ugly quick. If all the players were doing it too it’d look like a rec league softball game by the third hitter.

  • Chris

    @HummerX, I like your idea best.

  • Mr. Bryan

    I have a feeling that Werth does peyote.

  • Lindsay

    @85: or just a mets game

  • GTO

    haha that is too funny

  • lebowski

    make it like the WSOP and have the leprechauns have rifles as well.

  • MJRiley26

    Ah yes, the wild, peyote-driven fantasies of right fielder Jay Werth

  • Chris

    When they do peyote in that movie Young Guns Jayson Werth was their supplier.

  • JaysonWerthHisWeightInGold

    the reading of this post was immediately followed by a slow clap and a single tear.

    Jayson Werth is truly a god among men.

  • Lynniemac

    This is the greatest idea I’ve heard all day. Truly awesome.

  • Mike

    All Star Game is spectacle anyway. Why not amp it up like WWF. Have winner wear a chest shield like a gladiator.

  • Here Come Da Judge

    jayson werth cheeses

  • Jocksniffer

    I don’t see no Brinks truck.

  • Chris

    @Jocksniffer, I guess I can’t please everyone.

  • Sarge

    I think you should get to drive the CADILLAC out of there.

  • Dylan

    how long until someone cries about insensitive leprechaun remarks?

  • Swift aka PhiPhan5648

    To make a serious remark to improve the damned spectacle, that left me in awe as a young boy sitting in 500’s of the Vet when it went down in 96. Really simple, use a cot damned pitching machine. None of this fucking “I’m gonna have my agent, or pops, or coach throw em at me.” After watching McNulty fail to throw a strike ten pitches in a row, I was screaming at my TV that this was ridiculous. With a Pitching Machine, the pitches are almost all coming in the same fucking way. This eliminates the damned need to let an endless number of pitches go by.

  • Jdashdog

    @Swift, Amen brotha

  • Watrick

    @ Swift-I was there too. Know what made it great for me? No Chris (No nickname needed for all that fat) Berman. It seemed so much better. Less commercials, less ESPN.

  • Swift aka PhiPhan5648

    @Watrick: That too.

  • Gonzo

    Hornswaggle could bring out the sack of cash and Werth could give him the Spear!!!

  • Swift aka PhiPhan5648

    @Gonzo: LOL! Yeah… I knew I wasn’t the only who thought Werth looked like the Rated-R Superstar.

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