According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a “front-runner” is:

1 : a contestant who runs best when in the lead

2 : a leading contestant in or as if in a rivalry or competition <e.g., a political front–runner>

According to the sports community, a “front-runner” is:

1 : a fan who shifts their loyalty to whichever team has had the most recent success, or the best chance of success. For example…

This guy, 1994: “WOOOO! COWBOYS RULE!”

Same guy, 1998: “BRONCOS, BABY!”

Same guy, 2004: “THE PATS ARE GOIN’ ALL THE WAY!”

According to Jimmy Rollins, however, a “front-runner” is:

1 : a fan who’s on his side when the team is doing well

2 : a fan who’s completely against him when the team is doing poorly

What this tells me is that J-Roll doesn’t quite understand the term he used to describe his own fan base. If in fact I was, as Rollins said, a “front-runner” then I’d be rooting for the Mets right now. I would sooner chew tin foil laced with hydrochloric acid.

Tonight marks the return home of Rollins and his merry band of misfits, fresh off a 2-5 disaster of a West Coast road trip, which included a four-game sweep by the resurgent Dodgers and an 8-3 shellacking from the 48-75 San Diego “Who Wants Greg Maddux? Anyone?” Padres.

(That loss was Kyle Kendrick’s second god-awful outing in a row; maybe 32pitch’s comment wasn’t that stupid after all.)

Thanks to merciful scheduling, the Phightin’s get to kick off a nine-game home stand by hosting the 44-81 Washington Doormats. Meanwhile, the Mets – currently in first place by 1.5 games – are home to face Atlanta, against whom they are 2-7 this season. We need that trend to continue, since it would appear that beating the Mets by themselves has proven a difficult task for the Phillies.

The big question on many minds today is: What kind of reception can our outspoken lame-duck MVP expect from the masses? GM-Carson, one of the great minds over at We Should Be GM’s, proposes a unique, rather un-Phillyesque tactic. He calls it, “Campaign Cheer.” We call it friggin’ ingenious.

Blanton faces Bergmann tonight. Who will suck worse? Gosh, I hope it’s their guy! GO PHILS!