The Fightins'
It Keeps You (Front-)Runnin’
Posted by at 10:30 am ET 7 Comments

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a “front-runner” is:

1 : a contestant who runs best when in the lead

2 : a leading contestant in or as if in a rivalry or competition <e.g., a political front–runner>

According to the sports community, a “front-runner” is:

1 : a fan who shifts their loyalty to whichever team has had the most recent success, or the best chance of success. For example…

  • This guy, 1994: “WOOOO! COWBOYS RULE!”
  • Same guy, 1998: “BRONCOS, BABY!”
  • Same guy, 2004: “THE PATS ARE GOIN’ ALL THE WAY!”

According to Jimmy Rollins, however, a “front-runner” is:

1 : a fan who’s on his side when the team is doing well

2 : a fan who’s completely against him when the team is doing poorly

What this tells me is that J-Roll doesn’t quite understand the term he used to describe his own fan base. If in fact I was, as Rollins said, a “front-runner” then I’d be rooting for the Mets right now. I would sooner chew tin foil laced with hydrochloric acid.

Tonight marks the return home of Rollins and his merry band of misfits, fresh off a 2-5 disaster of a West Coast road trip, which included a four-game sweep by the resurgent Dodgers and an 8-3 shellacking from the 48-75 San Diego “Who Wants Greg Maddux? Anyone?” Padres.

(That loss was Kyle Kendrick’s second god-awful outing in a row; maybe 32pitch’s comment wasn’t that stupid after all.)

Thanks to merciful scheduling, the Phightin’s get to kick off a nine-game home stand by hosting the 44-81 Washington Doormats. Meanwhile, the Mets – currently in first place by 1.5 games – are home to face Atlanta, against whom they are 2-7 this season. We need that trend to continue, since it would appear that beating the Mets by themselves has proven a difficult task for the Phillies.

The big question on many minds today is: What kind of reception can our outspoken lame-duck MVP expect from the masses? GM-Carson, one of the great minds over at We Should Be GM’s, proposes a unique, rather un-Phillyesque tactic. He calls it, “Campaign Cheer.” We call it friggin’ ingenious.


Blanton faces Bergmann tonight. Who will suck worse? Gosh, I hope it’s their guy! GO PHILS!

  • GM-Carson

    Thanks for the Campaign Cheer plug.

  • Andrew

    MTV! MTV! MTV!…..

    go shoot another episode, you sloppy cornrow wearing, Bruntlett loving, heify music listening to, used to be fast slacker!

  • Andrew

    MTV! MTV! MTV!

    go shoot another episode you sloppy cornrow wearing, Eric Bruntlett loving, heify music listening, used to be fast slacker!!

  • Joe B

    I guess it’s not Jimmy’s fault. He is from Oakland. I heard the schools weren’t the best out there.

  • Gonzo

    I cheered Rollins all weekend, but it didn’t help.

  • Hugging Harold Reynolds

    Was out there last night with Carson handing out fliers. Mixed reaction. Most dismissed him for Jimmy for his stupidity.

    On a side note – did you know whose idea it was to hold Gay & Lesbian night, the same night as Dollar Hot Dog night – both yesterday? Just sayin’. AND, there was no mention that I saw in the stadium of the G&L celebration. Closest thing to that was the Christian Coalition protesters.

  • Chamomiles Davis


    I don’t know whose idea it was, but it wasn’t a very good one. Don’t get me started on Gay Community Night; I caught a load of crap from some readers on a highly satirical post I wrote about that very subject a couple of months ago.

    Lesson learned: Never pretend to write as a homophobic frat boy.

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