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Apr
26
2010
Here’s What They Think About You: The Ryan Howard Deal
Posted by at 8:39 pm ET 112 Comments

As soon as word broke, every Ryan Howard naysayer on the planet (and there’s a whole lot of ‘em) rushed to their typing machines to proclaim, “Worst deal ever!” and “Someone tell Pujols to call his agent!  wakka-wakka!”  Then they all went on to compare Ryan Howard to people like Mo Vaughn and talk about how players with “similar body types” never succeed past the age of 35 or something — it was real compelling stuff, I swear.

Granted, these are the same people who would complain when Utley took over at first base if Howard never re-upped and eventually signed elsewhere, talking about, “His WAR won’t be the same at first base!” or “They should keep Utley at 2nd and sign a replacement level player to replace Howard!”  so you have to take their rants with a grain of salt.  These people LOVE to rant.

Well you know what I love to do?  Assemble random quotes from writer’s articles and point out how dumb and condescending they sound.  Now here, as a quick reference guide to remember these quotes, I’ve gone ahead and gathered some of the most negative and blockquoted ‘em for ya.  Have at it.

First up is Rob Neyer, who continues his quest to ridicule the run batted in and then calls the Phillies ignorant:

Ryan Howard’s new contract is a testament the enduring power of the Are-Bee-Eye. It’s also a testament to old-school ignorance: ignorance of aging patterns, ignorance of position scarcity, ignorance of opportunity costs … hey, take your pick. The Phillies have done a lot of things right over the last few years. But this is a big bowl of wrong.

-Rob Neyer, ESPN.com

Here’s Craig Calcaterra, who barely made sense in this paragraph and then accused me of not making sense if I were to disagree with him.  Call Pujols’ agent!

As of now, Ryan Howard is going to paid more than anyone in the game not named Alex Rodriguez. Unless you can tell me that you can’t think of anyone else in baseball not named Alex Rodriguez who is better than Ryan Howard, this contract makes no sense. And if you tell me that, you make no sense.

In other news: Albert Pujols: call your agent. Your asking price just went up by $10 million.

-Craig Calcaterra, Hardball Talk

I can’t afford Keith Law’s take, but I’m sure it’s fucking brilliant, and more than likely mentions Albert Pujols’ agent.

Subscribe to Insider for as low as $2.50/month to access the complete rumor insider

-Keith Law, ESPN.com

I’m kinda curious what an entire article of Matthew Carruth laughing would look like, to be honest.

When the news first broke and the details started to emerge, I was tempted to fill this entire article with just me laughing. My co-writers convinced me that while an appropriate response, that was not quite informative enough so I have relented and will actually map out the value of Ryan Howard’s new extension. I’m laughing pretty hard, though, in case you wanted to picture it.

-Matthew Carruth, Fangraphs.com

Now Jonah’s just showing off here, call Albert Pujols’ agent!

5 years, $125 million for Ryan Howard!!! A financial quagmire that’ll make the Iraq War look like a slap fight.

Albert Pujols’ market value just went up to infinity.

-Jonah Keri, @jonahkeri

If you have any more, feel free to leave a link to it in the comments and I’ll update.

      Read More:
  • Phils Phan

    Keith Law and Lenny Dykstra have much in common.

  • http://twitter.com/lonettomb maxL

    “These people LOVE to rant.”

    Yeah, we really do.

  • http://www.the700level.com Matt P.

    I’d like to congratulate each of these writers on building back-to-back World Series and NL winning teams.

    I don’t mind the disagreement with the Phils; god knows we’ve all done that from time to time. But looking down your nose—and laughing—at the best team in the NL for signing one of the league’s best players, who is immensely popular here?

  • Morandini Turned Three

    Sour grapes, people. They’re just whining cuz Big Brown is ours and they can’t have him. Suck on it!

  • http://cinematicallycorrect.wordpress.com/ CinematicallyCorrect

    Man, these people are insane. They obviously don’t watch Ryan on a daily basis. In the past three years, he has lost weight, gotten much more fit, & isn’t even close to a defensive liability like he once was. In fact, I’d say he is an above average defender right now.

    This is a great move for a guy that has done nothing but get better & better.

  • blackinmind

    haters gonna hate. thats all they do.

  • Sophie

    Comparing his deal to the “Iraq War” REALLY, talk about bad journalism. Lets go HOWARD, although I am a huge Werth fan, and want him to stay. :(

  • eitheror

    c’mon! hating on people for being objective… the mo vaughn comp is more to do with stats then body type. baseball reference does the comparing work for you(top 3 Cecil Fielder, Richie Sexson, Mo Vaughn: combined games played at age 35+…. 27!). i love when people get ridiculed for being analytical or intelligent.

  • http://twitter.com/lonettomb maxL

    Just so we’re all clear: I’m not crazy about the deal, but I’m not gonna be all doom and gloom about it.

    Personally, I will always take Werth’s full-on wolfman beard over Howard’s scraggly little whatever he had during the playoffs last year.

  • Sophie

    Still thinking about how much I love Werth :(

  • Watrick

    I think I like the Keith Law quote the most. Those are the kind of quotes that make me come to this site.

  • http://www.thefightins.com meech.one

    Yo, I’m just hatin’ on all da haterz drinking dat Haterade, son.

  • Bub

    Ha! Does anyone actually pay for ESPN insider? Regardless, these columnists are way off on this one. The man has put up power numbers matched only by Babe Ruth thru 1st 5 seasons. Jayson Stark’s take on the deal was the best I’ve read so far.

  • dlhunter

    We all know Ruben got a silent partner wasted this weekend, threw him in the car, and him scribble his name on a blank contract in front of a notary public…

  • http://twitter.com/markmarinelli MJM

    Had to stop reading these stories today. They annoy the shit out of me. Albert Pujols is awesome and no one else should get paid apparently. If I’m the GM maybe I don’t make this move. I’m just an idiot commenting on a blog though.

    I’m also tired of reading about how Howard’s body type compares to Mo Vaughn and Prince Fielder. Ryan is not a fat fuck. Watching video of when he came up compared to now is unbelievable. The man has worked his ass off. Congrats Ryan.

  • will.H

    remember fellas, i’m gonna go to a game with a sign for the national media/fans

    “fuck you all”

    really, fuck ‘em. anything philly does won’t sooth their sensitive baseball souls. fuck’em fuck’em fuck’em. best thing my pop ever taught me–fuck ‘em

  • will.H

    i mean soothe, fuck’em

  • DPW

    “Haters wanna hate. Lovers wanna love. I don’t even want none of the above. I want to piss on you.”

  • http://www.thefightins.com meech.one

    That quote has never been more appropriate, DPW.

  • Mike P

    Has Keith Law ever said anything nice about the Phillies? I’m all about being objective, but I feel like whenever he covers the Phils, it’s usually to explain how they’re not really all that great.

    Though, to be fair, I’m not an ESPN insider. Maybe he saves the kinder comments for the paying customers.

  • http://twitter.com/markmarinelli MJM

    I got insider free. Basically Law says Howard has a “bad body, sucks defensively and sucks against lefties.”

    He closes with…”How happy are you if you’re Albert Pujols? If Howard is worth $25 million, Pujols is worth $50 million a year.”

  • eitheror

    WRITER X HATES MY TEAM!!!!!!!1111

  • http://twitter.com/Gaze_NJ Gaze_NJ

    There’s a reason why almost every national writer is criticizing this deal. I like to be a homer as much as the next guy, but I see an awful lot of rose colored glasses on this site today.

  • http://twitter.com/markmarinelli MJM

    Oops. Just read it in the other comments section. I suck!

  • Eric

    As tired as the joke was becoming, I’d really love to know what the TGRP is for this kinda signing.

  • BigMiles

    You didn’t have to pay any money to see Keith Law pick the Rays to sweep the Phils in the Series…and you definitely didn’t have to pay any money to see Neyer pick us to lose in 4 to the Dodgers AND Rays.

    Here’s a reality check for them- players in their 30s are overpaid. It’s about time people get used to it. Howard would have gotten this money elsewhere- if they don’t think so they are even more idiotic then I give them credit for.

  • eitheror

    http://insider.espn.go.com/mlb/blog?name=law_keith&id=4364558&action=login&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fmlb%2fblog%3fname%3dlaw_keith%26id%3d4364558

    oops…

    “For the Phillies, this looks like a steal. In Cliff Lee, they acquire one of the best pitchers in the American League over the past 18 months while retaining their top two prospects and trading four guys who all have serious question marks.”

    it’s almost like he is an objective analyst?!

  • BigMiles

    By the way, I meant Neyer picked us to lose in 5 to both of those teams….my apologies

  • http://twitter.com/markmarinelli MJM

    Gaze – Most long term deals go bad. What can you do? Not sign him? He wasn’t going to sign a 3 year extension. I’d rather sign guys the organization developed than outside free agents. The contract will probably backfire. It’s not my money.

  • joe

    The national media is upset because now they won’t have their dream of him playing for the yankees or red sox. If he was on either team, he’d be the best player ever, but cause he’s with the phillies, he’s made out to be a horrible player who just happens to hit homeruns when he’s not striking out 500 times a season.

  • fightins newbie

    Makes me want to win another WS even “more badder” than before. One more WS (maybe even more), and the deal pays for itself.

  • fightins newbie

    On top of that, screw everyone who is not a Phils fan. F em.

  • http://twitter.com/Gaze_NJ Gaze_NJ

    It’s not my money either… but IF come 2015 when that $25M is hanging over our head and Ryan Howard is a shell of his 2006 self, it’s certainly going to feel like it’s coming out of my wallet.

  • http://twitter.com/markmarinelli MJM

    At least we don’t have Josh Beckett locked up for 5 years. haha Red Sox.

  • CarlosBeltransexual

    I’m pretty disappointed by some of the arguments from the national writers. Comparing him to Pujols is silly…yeah, there are numerous players better than the Ryanoceros…how many of them could we have locked up today? Did I miss our abilityto extend Hanley Ramirez? You overpay for veterans. Should we have waited until 2011 and then panicked? Instead of just saying that Rhino isn’t Pujols (and he isn’t), why don’t the writers offer a better alternative?

  • http://twitter.com/markmarinelli MJM

    Come 2015 only Howard is under contract as of now. I almost died two years ago. People thought I was a goner for sure. Their are no guarantees that anything goes as planned.

    What’s more likely in 2015…Stephen Strasburg becomes Mark Prior or Roy Halladay? Ryan Howard hits 40 homers or 20? I don’t know. It’s why I love the game.

  • Ryan Howard’s Big Black Ass

    Hey Neyer,

    RIGHT HERE BUDDY *grabs sack*

  • crazy4swayze

    ‘member the end of the thome era? that sucked. but ‘member when they first signed his big goofy cosby sweater wearin ass? that was awesome. relax, folks. things might suck in 2015…but maybe i’ll act like an adult by then and not comment on phillies blogs.

    thank goodness it’s “can’t get enough rambo week” on amc to distract me from the debate on ryan howard’s VORP above win shares + ultimate on base slugging zone.

  • Eric

    Ruben forgot to call Phylan and Fat Max first and ask their opinions on what he should do, so now the tri-state area gets the pleasure of hearing them complain about it for like the next 19 years. God help us all.

  • http://www.cranekickchronicles.com Crane Kick

    Matthew Clemmons just barfed on a baby. But it’s ok, he was just excited for Ryan Howard. No harm in that.

  • Jdashdog

    I think I love this deal but I’m prtty drunk. I hope I when I wake up tomorrow Howard isn’t 350 lbs and wearing my hoody

  • James K.

    Enjoy Mo Vaughn mongos.

  • Zeke

    i can just imagine how fast shane victorino is talking to big brown in the dugout “yoryandoodyoujustgotPAIDbrahhthatssosickyoyouthinkyouwannagetinvolvedinaninvestmentlikefashiondesignHAjustkiddingmancoolcoolmanyougotpaidNOQUESTIONSASKED”

  • The Lone Filafel

    Dear National Media… Kindly Go Fuck Yourselves. Hugs and Kisses, The Lone Filafel.

  • http://twitter.com/markmarinelli MJM

    Wish I didn’t discover the on-screen keyboard with windows. Can no longer use a normal keyboard. I’m posting way too much, but I have to kill time somehow with a 10:15 game.

  • http://www.phoulballz.com Jay Ballz

    The Phillies have a core worth keeping intact. Utley, Hamels, Halladay, Rollins, Victorino, Ruiz, Polanco, Blanton and Howard are all signed up for YEARS! The National League champions have every key contributor, except one, locked up. This is GOOD news.

  • will.H

    CB Bucknor has the plate for tonight. start drinking

  • will.H

    when in the balls will vic ever think to bunt for a single anymore? get it goin hackey mcgee

  • http://twitter.com/jonahkeri Jonah Keri

    Good luck to Ryan Howard (and the Phils). Hopefully he proves all us wiseacres wrong.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Call me dumb, but I get mad whenever Halladay gives up a run.

  • Adam Eaton

    All the debbie downers can fuck off. You fag-sicles all shit your pants anytime Ruben picks his nose. Get off your high horse. If you are so good at making calls, get off theFightins.com and go run a major league team, please. The Phillies are a business, a business that you tool belts don’t understand. You are nothing more than an arm chair GM. With your posting creds, that might get you a job wiping Bill Giles ass.

    @Jdash what’s the deal with ice cream bro? You never let me know.

  • Lenny Dykstra Financial Whiz Kid

    Where is the dag gone game thread. I blame Doc’s three runs on the “lackofgamethreadness”

  • Epiphany1

    I love this blog,website, whatever. Its to funny.

  • will.H
  • Bobby

    If it was in any other uniform then the contract would be getting praised and ejaculated all over by the national media.

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    Haha, yes, some grand conspiracy against the Phillies on the part of informed baseball writers. Like famed Philly-hater Bill Baer http://crashburnalley.com/2010/04/26/howard-gets-extension-through-2016/

    Basically all of those quotes are correct F ya’lls I

  • TonyIsDynamic

    By the way, Ryan Howard’s Big Black Ass is my new favorite post name.

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    What has happened here? Everyone’s gone mad, including those national writers. Why should I care what they think? They are all, what’s that word? Haters. I’m a baseball fan and definitely not a GM. It’s fine to have an opinion on this, but there’s no right or wrong.

    I think it’s clear that Ryan Howard’s production will decrease over time, but that doesn’t mean he going to be a fat, sloppy fuck at first base. I’m impressed with him getting into better shape over the past 2-3 years. I love Ryan Howard and I am going to love seeing him in a Phillies uniform for the next 7(?) years.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Your 25 million dollar man at work. Runner at third, less than 2 outs.

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    TonyIsDynamic, that doesn’t count! Wait for a bigger spot later in the game.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Maria: Let’s hope Doc is still in the game.

    And what the fuck is up with our runners almost getting picked off? Is there a Jigglypuff in San Fran near the first base line?

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    Seriously, what the fuck. I feel like we should be 5-0. It’s nice to get guys in scoring position, but it’s even better to bring them home. Also, not a big fan of Ben Fransisco. He swings so hard, and does nothing but pop the ball up. At least with Raul, he could guess and get lucky.

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    TonyIsDynamic, still in the game? How about CG.

  • will.H

    i feel like that damn vollyball, wilson. quit leavin ‘em stranded, phils

  • will.H

    former met on the mound, we got ‘em right where we want ‘em

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    You’d think that, wouldn’t you will h.

    This game sucks so hard.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Fuck this team.

    And by that, I mean both of them.

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    The offense gets in slumps. Remember the last two Junes? It’s not really anything to pull your hair out about. I know it’s frustrating though.

  • bigmyc

    I really, really don’t care what anyone at ESPN thinks about anything Philly Sports related. The others are just wannabes whose opinions will be long forgotten while Cholly and his guys remain perennial contenders for years and years..

    Really.

  • bigmyc

    Did I mention that I don’t give a fuck about those people?

  • Epiphany1

    I wanna blame this one on the jetlag or time change, but I can’t. Another bad night for the Phils.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Phylan: I NEVER want to see the offense go into a slump when Roy Halladay is on the mound.

    The dude does NOT deserve to be a hard luck loser. Especially when the winner goes 5 IP, 5 BB. I know all about wins and losses, but I really want Doc to have that lopsided wins-loss record.

  • bigmyc

    Ahhhhh, they’ll bust out of it. It’s just another game. Just another game. Just another game. In April. In April. In April. In April.

  • Sarah Palin

    this is a good time for a ben francisco treat

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    Here’s Fransisco once again with the bases loaded.

  • Mike P

    Phillies records in April the past few years:

    April 2007: 13-14
    March/April 2008: 15-13
    April 2009: 13-9
    Phillies 2010: 11-7 (not including tonight)

    The Phils just aren’t a very good team in April the past few years. It’s no time to panic. It would be nice for them to build a fat lead in the NL East in April, but it’s just not their way for whatever reason.

  • will.H

    bases loaded fucked away again. fuck me

  • Sarah Palin

    fuck

  • will.H

    anyone reading this tomorrow morning, you didn’t miss much. just a bunch of butt fucking

  • Mike P

    Man, they’ve had their opportunities to put some runs on the board tonight. They just keep failing to bring ‘em in. Again and again and again.

  • ThinkRed

    I’m beginning to see why Cleveland just threw in Francisco in the Lee deal.

  • nickjames

    22 left on base so far….ridiculous

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    Someone please shoot me.

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Eli Whiteside…

  • TonyIsDynamic

    I’m an athiest, but I believe in the baseball Gods………..

    And they hate us right now.

  • will.H

    a friend one time told me the only way to beat the phillies lineup: load the bases

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Fuck the giants and their cunt of an announcer. Who has a FEMALE PA announcer?

  • kurt

    I thought Eli Whiteside was the dude from There Will Be Blood…why did he just go yard off St. Roy?

  • bigmyc

    Maria; it’s a baseball game. Be careful what you wish for.

    ThinkRed; I was thinking the same thing for a about a second and then I realized, even Al Puljols goes back to the dugout without getting to base much more often than he gets to base. Then, couple that fact with the fact that Fransisco hardly ever plays.

    Nickjames; these things’ll happen. Even to the 3 time NL Eastern Division Champs.

    Am I being too positive? Yes? Well then I apologize for not needing to slam the Panic Button.

  • bigmyc

    Hmmm. I wonder what the season will beholden for the Fightins once Jimmy, Bluto, James Anthony and Brad Lidge get back healthy.

  • will.H

    tony, baseball gods are trying to humble us once again for the 22thndst april in a row

  • kurt

    On the bright side of things, Halladay gets the Mets this weekend. You know he’s gonna come out on fire and it couldn’t be against a better team.

  • minkus

    and there’s the 30 year old with a glove

  • http://www.superfantabulousblog.blogspot.com maria

    Clearly, I wasn’t serious. I’m just frustrated. At least I don’t have work tomorrow.

  • ThinkRed

    bigmyc: I guess I just don’t like Francisco. Especially if he’s the guy that may replace Werth.

  • will.H

    why in the vag hair did i stay up to watch this bullfuck

  • will.H

    concelation price, CB Bucknor gets hit in the dome

  • TonyIsDynamic

    Tim Lincecum just earned his third straight Cy Young. And no that’s not me being a pessimist.

  • ThinkRed

    Juuuuust a bit outside. What the fuck was that?

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    TonyIsNonsensical

  • will.H

    Tony

    April 27, 2010. Today’s date

  • will.H

    like i said earlier, and its no secret.. CB Bucknor is the worst umpire currently employed by major league baseball. eff life, bed time.

  • Mark

    Roy’s first loss = Lee’s first win.

    5-1 in SF.

    Roy’s first loss = Lee’s first loss.

    10 hits, 5(& 6) ERs

    Creepyyyy

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    will.H, Angel Hernandez would like a word with you

  • http://www.firerubenamaro.net Phylan

    Actually umpires are all basically a fraternity of stubborn old grizzled assholes whose egos have spiraled hopelessly out of control. Bring on robot umpires.

  • T

    Angel Hernandez’s nephew is now a Phillies prospect.

  • will.H

    Phylan,

    Kerwin Danley is jealous of our discussion

  • Tyler

    I would not be unhappy if Chase and Ryan were career Phillies.

  • Heathcliff Slocumb

    Tyler Walker, call your agent!

  • Nick

    Oh I wish I could see what Law wrote. He’s a notorious Philly Hater.

  • Kevin

    Kinda funny how everyone who blasted this deal also blasted the Moyer deal, and the Ibanez deal, and the Lidge deal, an, ohhhh wait…. they were right on all that. Damn.

  • Fink

    Howard won his arbitration case last year and was awarded $18 mil a year. That set the bar for his future salary. What do these morons expect, that Howard was going to settle for 3 years at $19 mil a year? Once he hit the open market, there would have been a bidding war between the Mets, Red Sox, Dodgers, et al, and he would have gotten at least what he got from the Phillies. If that had happened and he had signed with the Red Sox for the same contract, the same dick lickers would have applauded Theo Epstein for being a genius, and called the Phils cheap for not re-signing him. You can’t win with these stat geeks. Are they ever right about anything? Fuck ‘em all!!!

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