A couple weeks back on a very special episode of The Charlie Manuel Show, our skip took food connoisseur/play-by-play man Tom McCarthy into the Aramark kitchen to whip up his signature dish — “Charlie’s Linguini Salad.”
It was one of the more entertaining segments in the show’s brief history, and allowed us — the viewing audience — to get familiar with one of our manager’s favorite off-field activities. Yup, that gorgeous gut of Cholly’s didn’t get there by accident. It’s been slowly refined from years of adding bacon bits to just about any dish imaginable.
Right here is a picture of the delectable finished product, after the jump find out how to make it yourself…
Okay, first what you want to do is make sure you have a nice clean kitchen area ready to prepare your linguini salad. Remember: cleanliness is next to godliness.
Now why don’t you go ahead and grab a nice red onion, a cucumber, and 3-4 tomatoes from your fridge, then dice the shit out of ’em. Get a bag of shredded carrots, and then chop them. Next you’re gonna grab a couple pounds of linguini (or rigatoni or bow-tie pasta, it’s really up to the chef) and boil them in a large pot while adding some salt and/or olive oil to make sure that pasta doesn’t stick together.
After the pasta is fully cooked (toss it against your mother’s wall to find out), dump it in a large bowl and mix it with your diced onions, cucumbers, tomatoes, and chopped carrots. Stir that shit up nicely.
NOW IT’S TIME FOR SEASONING!
Here’s what Uncle Cholly calls for on the seasoning-tip: 1 container of salad seasoning, 1 bottle of Italian dressing, a few pinches of black pepper, and my personal favorite — BACON BITS!
Tip: If the bacon bits are being stingy and don’t want to come out of the bottle, just shove you finger in there to break them up. Like so:
Once your done that, mix it all together one last time and you’re done the dish! Now gather eight of your closest friends and dig in. And look — even Charlie’s financé Missy approves!
If you don’t feel like following my directions, you can just follow along with this easy-to-read recipe:
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