The Fightins'
Jun
15
2010
Found: Meech’s Hunger Diary
Posted by at 10:05 pm ET 18 Comments

This is kind of tough. The little guy is nomming some Funyuns and there’s no telling what I’d do if I got to that bag. But this will be short lived. I can do this. For now however I shall Twitter to the masses, providing humor to the masses

Spot check: still gooooooooood.

I smell McGriddle. I know McGriddle. I cannot eat McGriddle. AND NOW THE “I’M EGGIN’ IT” SONG COMES ON?!

It’s the Mets. I’ll be fine. This is good publicity. I mean, I was just on the radio. Sound move, Meechton. Well played.

As the evolution from street tough blogger to affluent Mac owner attests to a greater transformation, I think it time to consider moving to Maine and opening a breakfast shop. The full shabang, too. I’ll wear red plaid flannel and an LL Bean hat that I got at the outlet. Folks can hang their coffee mugs on the wall- a real mom and pop place with hipster flair. We’ll source a local farm for maple syrup, another for blueberries, and write clever things on the menus/chalk board. Sell “Chocolate Neutral Milk Hotel”. “We support same sex unions: Maple Syrup and Powdered Sugar!” Lord, I must stop thinking of food. I know, I’ll go read Zoo With Roy! (back from ZWR) That guy is dope, yo. I think I’ll name the place The Meechy Moose. omg yes

Twenty-one days lost at sea I fought
For twenty-two years non-stop I’ve talked
Through the desert, piss drunk, and confused I walked
I spit a tooth in the palm of my hand
BUT I KEPT TALKING, YEAH

This stromboli is going to be soooo good. And I didn’t tell anyone, but I’m straight killing some Combos afterwards. A STROMBO COMBO COMBO Y’ALL! RUN TMC.

I might as well just go to bed, right? For how many days?

Dude, I want some chicken fingers. For real. My kingdom for some honey mustard. At least Deitch thinks I’m cool.

BIG PELF. Saddest.

cotdamn cotdamn cotdamn goddamn. criminy. bejesus cotdamn.

this portrait from my youth depicts not the impetuous servant to righteousness i've now become

and yet i can’t believe it’s taken this long to return to, or dare say arrive at, or perhaps more aptly stumble upon (my mind’s path lighted dimly forgive me) our friend the hunger artist (no energy for capital letters and i know it’s kafka which i reference). from my cage from my cage from my cage i see them all see them there and they look but only for a moment, that another which i haven’t eaten will not eat. my art unappreciated, my act barely amusement anymore, this … famine for meaning. but i am a hunger artist. noble.

OMG ANGUS IS ON TNT! WAIT THAT’S FOOD, BOOOO… BUT NO, I LOVE THAT MOVIE, YAY (BRB)

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  • TonyIsDynamic

    Best post not just on The Fightins, but any site on the internet, that I’ve seen in a while/

  • http://twitter.com/flyerguy18 FlyerGuy18

    I love Zoo With Roy.

  • Jon Weeks Booth

    I would kill to live one day in ZWR’s mind.

  • scott

    Tucker: “Dude-that thing looks disgusting. It has to be nasty, with the syrup shit in it. What is that?”

    SlingBlade: “I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenlt faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn’t add… yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them…the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.”

    Tucker: “So you like them?”

    SlingBlade: If you EVER speak ill of the McGriddle again I will personally force-feed you one while I fuck you in the butt using the wrapper as a condom and then donkey punch you when the infused syrup nuggests explode in your mouth.”

  • http://www.twitter.com/jondgc Jon

    This has briefly cheered me up.

    Whoops, now I’m depressed again.

  • fuck

    FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

  • Lynniemac

    *standing ovation*

  • http://www.twitter.com/underthebridge1 Walklett

    So Meech refers to himself as “Meechton?” You learn something new every day.

  • Phils Phan

    Every member of the Phillies right now is a stinkin’ donkey.

  • Morandini Turned 3

    A heartfelt, yet disturbing glimpse into the madness that awaits us all if this team doesn’t get its shit together. I fear for our souls.

  • http://www.cranktexts.com Adam Eaton

    I love you Zoo. Break my face, it’s so good love.

  • http://www.twitter.com/coquiox coquiox

    So was that written by ZWR or Hunter Thompson?

  • loctastic

    sorry kids, the Internet has been closed due to the fact that ZWR broke its’ face.

  • Wes Chamberlain

    Legend has it that ZWR can speak with the penguins

  • The Killer Zs

    Face Breaking on the Fightins. A perfect union. Sooo needed today. I love ZWR.

  • loctastic

    I’m starting a new site, “I want to drop acid with ZWR”. Who’s with me?

  • Big Fatty

    STFU!

  • http://twitter.com/h_cliff_slocumb Heathcliff Slocumb

    OMG, loctastic…OMG

Written by

ZWR is the founder and Chief Auteur at I Want to Go to the Zoo with Roy Halladay, the world's foremost bolg about wanting to go to the zoo with once and future Phillies ace Roy Halladay. In addition to stuffing as many web addresses as possible into his digital biographies, ZWR sells stylish t-shirts and contributes weekly at Philly.com/HolyButt. You can also follow his nonsense on Twitter -

@zoowithroy
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