The Fightins'
Cole Hamels Carries His Puppy in a Backpack
Posted by at 11:08 am ET 85 Comments

Cole, I think you got some ‘splainin to do:

From Bridget at Yellaphant:

Take my word that this is the unstoppable Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels. B and I walked right past Cole and his wife Heidi at Philadelphia’s Fourth of July celebration on the parkway. We were all excited. And then he turned around. Seriously, dude?

Honest to God, that is one of the gayest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

(via Deadspin)

  • Melissa

    Oh no.. that’s something I would have rather not seen.

    Can’t Heidi keep it in a purse?..oorrr on a leash.

    Ew =(

  • will.H

    taking a dog to a fireworks show is like taking a dildo to church. not cool

  • Dash Treyhorn

    When you go 5-0* in the playoffs and turn in one of the greatest, most clutch postseasons of all time, you get a little more slack when you carry your dog in a backpack.

    *Yes, I realize Cole went 4-0 with a ND in Game Five (It’s a proper noun), but had Bud Selig not had his head up his ass and A. Not even played the game, or B. Stopped the game before the top of the sixth inning, when the conditions were far from playable, then Cole wins five games.

  • Jocksniffer

    Who cares about the pooch? That backpack is gay by itself.

  • zach

    why Cole? Just why?

  • Chris

    It matches his vagina well.

  • CarlosBeltransexual

    Yes! A possible Mrs. Hamels/Mrs. Utley catfight! Even TMac’s inane droning can’t ruin that!

  • Adam

    whatever, i’ll take this over a raul ibanez ed hardy t-shirt

  • D. Whitmore

    ill say it again. if he wasnt the best damn pitcher alive i would hate him.

  • fuck the mets



  • Hummer

    why dont you make your woman wear the stupid thing, Cole?

  • mike

    I’ll carry Doc Halladay’s dog if he comes to philly.

  • PhiPhan5648

    @D.Whitmore, then you really hate him? Cause there are plenty of better pitchers out there in the league.

    But seriously Cole… Chase showed he has balls, and attitude last year. Especially with his WFC Speech, and his ridiculous return from hip surgery. We’re still waiting for your balls to drop. I mean… could you be anymore of a wuss?

  • Sarge

    And that DOG’s hopping into the BACKPACK.

  • Here Come Da Judge

    what a gay

  • Dan

    Something to keep in mind: The kid is from San Diego. The practice of carrying your dog with you is not only accepted, but applauded here (in SD). As someone noted, Raul’s Ed Hardy gaffe is definitely more questionable in my book.

  • ill

    I am kinda surprised at the responses in the comments. I’m with Dash, he can do whatever he wants after bringing a WFC to Philly. Plus, you know he is gonn go home and knock the bottom outta Heidi. He should have thought a little before going in public with this kinda thing, but I’m pretty sure I would have carried the dog for him if he asked me.

  • gm-carson

    Total H-Mo, now wonder he sucks balls this season.

  • PhiPhan5648

    @ill, we’re still glad his a Phillie, and we’re incredibly thankful for his performance last year in the World Series. But… I mean the dude isn’t exactly John Wayne. He turns his ankle, and he’s off to check his tampon. He gets hit in the shoulder with a line-drive, and he’s off to watch Oprah. He gets squeezed by an Ump, and his panties get in a bunch.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love Cole Hamels. I just wish he’d be less of a pussbag at times.

  • Dash Treyhorn

    Things that King Cole is doing while people leave these comments:

    1: Polishes his World Series ring
    2: Overlooks the Philly skyline from his condo
    3: Cashes a paycheck that is somewhere in the $400,000-$600,000 range
    4. Uses his World Series MVP trophy as a paperweight on said paychecks
    5. Nails his hot wife
    6. Strikes someone out
    7. Basks in the glow of bringing a title to a championship starved city of Philadelphia


    And to agree with ill, how many people would have worn the backpack at Cole’s request?

    /raises hand

  • PhiPhan5648

    @Dash, admittedly I would as well.

  • Drew

    @ Dash, EXACTLY. Well said.

  • gm-carson

    I like both Dash’s and PhiPhan’s points. Both made me laugh.

  • bigmyc

    I think yous people are comin’ down a little hard on the staff ace.

    He’s not Curt Schilling with his fortitude, but the guy did log more innings than any other pitcher in the National League this year. He can’t be that much of a West Coast wuss, remember, he’s the guy who broke his hand on yocal’s face in Clearwater years back. The rest of the story is that another yocal got thrown in the pond behind that bar. I hoyd it from the bar maid herself. So, Cole and his Spring Training buddies cleaned house that night.

    That line drive was smoked and hit his pitching shoulder. I’d find it pretty tough to throw effective pitches to Major league hitters with a grapefruit sized knot on my shoulder too….and a sprained ankle is no fun to attempt to compete athletically on.

  • Shawn

    I feel bad for the poor dog, it doesn’t belong in a back pack or at a fireworks show. The poor dog was probably scared shitless.

  • jd

    success and ‘tang will do weird things to a guy.

    as long as he doesn’t go all avery on us.

  • Yellaphant

    I love Cole. I really do. But oh my dog, that’s atrocious.

  • PhiPhan5648

    @bigmyc, I realize the things that happened to him were pretty scary, and were pretty serious. I’m just making fun of him. Like I said, I love Cole, and am glad to have him. Just as I stated, I wish he were a little more manly at times.

  • Hummer


    I HIGHLY doubt he polishes it himself…although, I wouldnt think hed wear that stupid-ass dog backpack…

    everything I thought I knew is wrong :(

  • Kruks left nut

    Dogs like fireworks about as much as i fuckin like the Mets, i hope it pissed in that fagboy’s bag or even a hot steamy present for him

  • Tits McGhee

    Gang, Cole proudly posed for the Phillies ASPCA calendar with his pooch.

  • Kruks left nut

    could you see Pat Burrell with his fuckin bulldog in a bag at the wfc parade,omfg

  • Hummer

    I dont think Elvis woulda fit in that thing

  • Kruks left nut

    I don’t think elvis would have anything to do with the fag bag

  • Watrick

    I hope he had fun cleaning the turds out of that thing after his dog shit like a fireworks show in there, because of the fireworks.

  • Tug Haines

    Violation. Doesn’t matter if he’s WS MVP, doesn’t matter if he’s the weird guy that pumps my gas at the Getty on Rt.72, it’s a violation. Worth at least 1 (one) demerit.

  • Watrick

    Tug-I agree. This is one of those morality questions in life. It’s only on here because they dude can throw a great change up. If he couldn’t? I’d be throwing my empty beer can at him as he walks through the crowd looking like that.

  • Lynniemac

    Of course Colbert gets a pass for being WFCMVP, i.e. no one here would make any of these comments to his face. There’s his pass.

    That said, wow is there a whole lot of gaytasticness in that picture.

  • will.H

    Dash & others,

    a hometown hero is never exempt from a little ribbing. its what makes our relationship genuine

  • Gaze

    Violation… 10 consecutive MVP awards still doesn’t give you a free pass for a doggie backpack outside of LA.

  • PhiPhan5648

    Elvis > Cole’s Dog

  • Tug Haines

    Pat’s scroat > Cole’s dogpack

  • PhiPhan5648

    TH’s comment > My comment

  • Cole Hamels

    I’ll admit, I was carrying it because Heidi asked me to…I don’t even think she was tired, I just think she was embarrassed. But I didn’t expect anyone to catch me with the dog- I was just walking to the car! But you’re all welcome for winning the World Series and going down in history as having one of the best postseason pitching performances of all time. Also, you know who Pablo Sandoval’s uncle is? Osama bin Laden. Vote Victorino.

  • Crane Kick

    OH what the fuck is that. Dutch Daulton is going to time travel back to the 4th to eat that dog if he’d sees this.

  • Eminencegirl

    Um…why is everyone so surprised? Cole is the biggest cheeseball wimpy voiced girly man princess pitcher on the planet. A Cy Young would look much better in there than a dog. Ahhhh…one day. But for now we get a pretty ghey ass dog.

  • ill

    I think we just need to accept that we have a pretty boy for a staff ace. He doesn’t eat nails for breakfast like Halladay, he doesn’t gorge himself like Sabathia. Cole likes his mani/pedis and Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioners. Cole doesn’t want a bulldog, , he wants his Bichon Frise named Mr Humperdink waking him up in the morning with gentle licks to the face. The slober from bulldogs ruins Cole’s complection. He may piss excellance, but he does it sitting down.

    We need to accept that.

  • Kruks left nut

    ill Thats chill !


    U guys are soooo tastless ,i work at the accesorie shop whre coleie picked up that bag on a road trip to san fran,or shall i say, a dirt road trip

  • KissBlarney

    Everyone please stop with these sophomoric comments. The dog is fine. Most women I know think it’s sexy when a man holds his dog or baby. And Cole, well, that’s a plus.

    I mean really, shouldn’t be still be focused on MJ’s memorial?

    Vote for Shane.

  • ill

    I sold Cole his duvet cover.

  • Kruks left nut

    That friggin bag cost 2200.00 ,has a poop disposal system,and sound proof ,the dog never heard the fireworks,

  • Col. Forbin

    OK, let me point out something that will probably end any and all discussion on this…

    Heidi is very pregnant right now. Right? If she wants Cole to wear a doggie backpack, he’s go no choice but to wear. the. fucking. backpack. It doesn’t matter if you’re Cole Hamels…you do whatever the fuck she wants until the end of the summer, buddy. Thems are the rules.

    I give Cole a pass on this.

  • J A Happy

    Speakin of Heidi,i would trade all my baseball cards for a chance to play on that infield!

  • All Things Bacon

    Yeah, that’s a fairy-pants back pack, the dude wears make-up, his hair is a fire hazard, and a housecat could kill and eat that dog. I don’t care if he “accidentally” makes a sex tape with Boy George, he won us a World Series, and as long as he’s doing that, he can do whatever he wants with his personal life.

  • Lynniemac

    If everyone stopped with the sophomoric comments, this blog as we know it would cease to exist. And that would suck.

    Thanks for the laugh. Comment 47 was freaking hilarious.

  • ill

    @Col. Forbin
    I was unaware of Heidi being pregnant. Since this site is equivalent to the Phillies personal Perez Hilton, I am disspointed in meech for dropping the ball.

  • J A Happy

    There goes my woody

  • Watrick

    Yeah, Preggers changes everything.

  • Kruks left nut

    So u r say’n next 4th of july Cole will have a dogie pack in the back and a kiddy pack up front,holy shit i hope he remembers hes got a fuckin creeky back,i say the phils should look in to his contract this could violate some sort of claus,


    Next time he cums to san fran i will show him a matching kiddy pack!

  • KissBlarney

    Col. Corbin – You are SO right! Especially when you are really prego during the summer. Been there done that.

    Lynniemac – Of course I would not want this dialogue to end prematurely, I agree with you 100%, just thought it needed a little nudge.

  • ill

    I hope you are not a dude. You need to turn in your ManCard for using the word “preggers”

  • Kruks left nut

    @buffy do u sit down to pee too?

  • Gaze

    Dog leash: $5
    Doggie Backpack: $300

    If Cole wants to be a gentleman and handle the dog for his wife while she’s pregnant, so be it. But use a fucking leash. Dogs have 4 legs for a reason!

  • yowhatup

    cole needs to ditch heidi and her gay lil dog and get with me. i have a rottwieler plus i’m not all pregnanted up.

  • Kruks left nut

    @yowhatup Maybe the rottwieler is the reason ,as Watrick would say you are not a “pregger”or maybe u have a “mancard”

  • Kruks left nut

    @Gaze, That gay lil dog would of got crushed in that crowd,next year i am gonna dog sit and baby sit for them so the can have fun @ the fireworks,and i would be @their pad look’n for some home movies!

  • KissBlarney

    @Gaze Nicely said. Do you guys think Pugs are gay too?

  • J A Happy

    Can i answer the pug question,if pugs were say around 40 lbs or so,they would be cool,but since a decent size cat can kick the shit out of a Pug then yes,their a little gay,maybe kind of ac/dc

  • KissBlarney

    @ J A Happy thanks for your comment. My thought did pertain to Cole’s dog @ fireworks. That dog looks very frail. How would my pug react? ( I still can’t figure out why you would want to take a dog to a crowded event like that). Interestingly, though I never thought I would have a pug, it was my 100 lb. lab that freaked out when we had fireworks on the 4th. Since I live in the country we can do, well let’s say, bigger than the usual. 30 lb pug was trying to catch them. And, maybe she’s a freaky pug cause she can kick all the fox and raccoons asses in our bucolic hamlet.

  • J A Happy

    shit . i stand corrected,if it beat up a damn racoon,hell i’m scared of racoon’s,but the only pug i ever met was a damn lap dog,what is the name of that pug of yours,and back to coles dog ,a pug in the bag it better

  • KissBlarney

    Pug’s name is Abby – – 1 year old going on 40. She is the best damn dog I ever had, loyal, smart & fierce as shit. I hate raccoons too. I’m a city girl but have had to get used to the country. She’s gonna get herself in trouble so I go out with her @ night to help fend of the predators. (I don’t want her to get too aggressive.) Oh, and we had a bat in our farmhouse not long ago and she tried to catch that sucker too. Yep, only a Mommy could love that face, she actually would look cute in the backpack but that will never happen.

    Anyway, for some reason I still think it’s okay that Cole had his dog in the pack, whatever makes your boat float.

  • Mark

    @bigmyc (#24)- Hehe you said, “a little hard on”

  • mike

    FAG I new his hot playboy wife was a cover

  • jim

    California people are just diffrent…

  • lisa

    Oh, you people are just jealouos, if he wants to carry his dog in his back pack so be it!!

  • paul

    Cole Hamels is gorgeous,and has a killer smile and bedroom eyes who am I fooling He would never go for me if he is

  • viperbabe

    And you’re just realizing this with Tweetybird? Puhleez, the marriage is nothing but a front, obvious since day 1.

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    Yeah, homophobia alive and well in americas last great pastime.

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