This just in from the Adam Eaton watch: did you know? He helped the Phillies get to the playoffs!
“What went wrong?” Eaton asked. “A lot of things went wrong, but a lot of things that went right, too. I helped them get to the playoffs two years in a row, and obviously we won the World Series last year. That’s a big thrill of mine, but obviously I still want to compete in that World Series atmosphere. That’s what I aim to do.”
What the fuck World Series atmosphere is that? The one where you played 0 postseason innings because you weren’t on the active roster, after sucking in the minor leagues so bad that you bought your teammates a steak dinner to show off your $8M salary? Or the one where you weren’t even INVITED to the parade down Broad Street? And we remember how well you helped us in 2007 too, fuckface, when you were the only player on the entire team we booed at the rally at City Hall. (Well, the only one we booed worse than Rod Barajas.)
Let’s see just how well Eaton helped get us into the playoffs during the 2008 run, using team pitching stats from Baseball-Reference…
The Phillies had the 4th best ERA in the National League at 3.89 with Eaton. Check out the before and after stats:
2008 WFC Phillies with Eaton:
IP: 1,449 2/3
ERA: 3.89, fourth best in NL, behind the Dodgers, Brewers and Cubs
2008 WFC Phillies without Eaton:
IP: 1,342 2/3
ERA: 3.74, second only behind the Dodgers’ 3.68
That may seem like more math than it’s worth, but this is Adam Eaton we’re talking about here, the guy we’re going to pay $8.5M to go suck for Baltimore, and the guy whose last effort as a Phillie was to sneak into that portrait of Ryan Howard … right before Big Brown elbowed him in the goatee and said get the fuck out of my photo shoot and off my team.
beelove (a/k/a R. Bradley Maule) is the proprietor of the fantastic Philadelphia photography/architecture site, PhillySkyline.com. He had something he had to get off his chest concerning Adam Eaton; I gladly gave him the space to do so.
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